Today my mind is all over the place. Confused. I know I've been having a rough time and I'm sorry that I've posted so much. I don't know if I'm better out of here or not. I feel bad when I cannot support others in a fashion that I would like. These thoughts are still swirling. I'm not planning on doing anything at this time unless something impulsive happens, so am not sure why I'm posting here. Am about to get my meds refilled, and have extras right now too - I know its not the foolproof way. I know its foolish. I feel like I need an out. Somehow. I feel in many ways like I'm just waiting for the worst to happen. I'm trying not to be that way, but it seems I default to that behavior. I still have these intense odd feelings that I had last week, something is off within me, but I can't identify what/why etc. I have tried to sleep & nap to avoid all of this. I really don't know. Its all a bit of a mess, I'm all a bit of a mess. I know only I can get the answers I need, and only I can find out what questions need answered internally. I just don't know where to start. I feel like a cartoon being with all these stars swirling around outside my head, but they all have thoughts & events and I don't know where to start processing or how. It feels too much, it all feels overwhelming. I wish this would stop. I wish I could be in better control of myself and the circumstances and be able to manage better. I feel like I'm losing it, that makes me uncomfortable. Is there a point we pass where any options seem viable?