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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SeperatedOne, Jan 2, 2012.

  1. SeperatedOne

    SeperatedOne Active Member

    Have you ever felt like you were a nuisance to every single person you know, siblings, parents, teachers, friends, family, etc?
    Nothing in my life has been secure, whether it'd be friends, family, boyfriends, houses, money, etc... and because of this I always feel like whenever something good comes along, I have to prepare myself for the worst, because it'll just leave, just like everything good in my life. I've always been a drifter and I don't want to do it anymore, I don't want to drift, I want everything to be perfect, but it can't be because perfect for me is virtually impossible and that thought just kills me.

    I can't say I feel like a waste of space because I KNOW I'm a waste of space, I KNOW that everyone is better off without me I have no idea why I try and kid myself by telling myself different. I'm useless and hopefully soon enough no one will have to deal with me ever again.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU ARE IMPORTANT YOU ARE hun quit letting your mind say differently ok dam depression does that keep us down distorts everything we see hun I do hope you stay here awhile hun and create new friendships
  3. McDave

    McDave New Member

    I have felt that way and often still do, particularly to my family. But one thing I've learnt recently is my predictions of what others think of me is nearly always wrong. I always assumed that people thought of me in the harshest light. It really isn't true. Its extremely rare that I'll actually dislike someone and if I do its because of my own issues. If you asked friends, family, teachers etc whether they thought you were a waste of space or only a nuisance they wouldn't say you were. And in the offchance they did it would be obvious they had their own issues.

    The pursuit of perfection can really be a painful one when you're filled with guilt and low self esteem. I know this all too well. Gradually my standards for things are evolving and adapting to a balance between what I think is acceptable and what is realistic. Hopefully this will happen for you too but you got to hang in there. Life can really suck sometimes and you can feel really terrible but with time it does pass. It always passes. Just gotta try and keep yourself busy and focus on things you can positively do, no matter how small.

    My advice would be to find a friend you trust and just vent all the anger and frustration, try and get it out your system. Thats what I usually do, typing rants into chat boxes or facebook messages :D. Actually posting here probably helped you a bit in that way already. Hope this helped a tiny bit. :p