94 days and...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Perfectly Imperfect, Jun 28, 2008.

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  1. Okay, so it's been 94 days today since I self harmed, but of course tonight, I'm really feeling the urge to do something to change that. I'm already prepared, and I know the consequences, but at this point, I couldn't care less. The consequences are huge, and I know I'm going to regret doing anything later, but right now, it's just so overwhelming. I don't think I've ever felt the urge to self harm this strong...ever! If I do self harm I will lose my girlfriend. She said if I ever did it again, she would break up with me. If that happens, I have nothing more to live for, and I'm almost positive I wouldn't be here much longer. I would most likely make plans to go back to Texas, so that I'm not near her anymore, to cause her more trouble, and go on with the plan from there. There are so many reasons for the way I feel right now, but honestly, I shouldn't be feeling so down on myself. Things have been much worse and I've gotten through them, but tonight just seems different for some reason. Anyone have any suggestions??? :unsure:
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I hate to say if you love her you wouldn't harm, but I hate that. I suggest talking to her about how you feel. Talk to her about the urges, etc. She could help you get through them. If you don't want to lose her you have to find some resolution to the problem with out resulting in harming yourself.

    Talk to her hun. It's your best option. :hug: I'm around.
  3. amicrazy

    amicrazy Well-Known Member

    i'm not sure i agree with Kanani. she might just get angry and that could make the urges harder to control.

    you have to try to get your mind off it. i hope you were able to sleep it off. stay strong :hug:
  4. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member


    94 days is an amazing achievment. Do you have any ice? holding an ice cube is really painful but it does not leave a mark and it is safe.

    Tell your girlfriend that you feel like doing it and ask her to distract you till you do not want to SH. She will want to help if she knows you are trying and tell her. She cares about you other wise she would not threaten to leave you if you did it again. She would want to help you not SH if you asked.

    If you do it she might not be so nice about it.

  5. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    did you manage to peacefully find your way through the night without harmin'? i hope you did. i totally believe you had it in you to make it through the night. please please take care
  6. Just to let y'all know..I ruined it.
    I talked to Kells about it a little more, and did what she suggested. I went into the room, and laid with her. I didn't tell her what was going on, but when I was with her, I didn't want to SH anymore. Then things went bad again, and she stormed out of the room without warning or saying anything, so I followed trying to talk to her about what was wrong, and why she did that, but I got nothing. She ended up going into another room, and I stayed in my room, and ended up cutting. She still doesn't know about it, and I'm not sure I should even say anything now, because it will just make things worse. I know it would probably be wise to tell her now but we're doing okay at the moment and it's really nothing serious. I'm just more disappointed in myself for not being able to control such urges even after thinking about the huge consequences. :dry:
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