94 pounds and still fat.
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Do you want to talk about what is chaotic and why you feel you need control?
The thing about control, is truly being able to do what you want, when you want, so maybe that might be eating healthily and balanced for a week, or longer or shorter. If you are truly in control, then you would be able to do that. If, however, something was controlling you, but you didn't realise, then maybe you wouldn't be able to do those things. Maybe it's not you controlling your eating, but an eating disorder?
At 94 pounds you can't possibly be 'fat'. At a push you might be healthy, but that's definitely not fat. Chances are though, you are underweight. It sounds like you have a very warped image of what your body looks like, which means your opinions on how you look are not reliable. Mayb edealing with facts might help you get a more reliable picture of yourself.
The thing about control, is truly being able to do what you want, when you want, so maybe that might be eating healthily and balanced for a week, or longer or shorter. If you are truly in control, then you would be able to do that. If, however, something was controlling you, but you didn't realise, then maybe you wouldn't be able to do those things. Maybe it's not you controlling your eating, but an eating disorder?
At 94 pounds you can't possibly be 'fat'. At a push you might be healthy, but that's definitely not fat. Chances are though, you are underweight. It sounds like you have a very warped image of what your body looks like, which means your opinions on how you look are not reliable. Mayb edealing with facts might help you get a more reliable picture of yourself.
If it makes you feel any better.. i'd do SO much to be anywhere near what you are..
i know no one else really matters to you (don't mean that as in you're selfish, as in other people can't change the way you think about yourself), but just think of all the people who suffer from obesity & other illnesses
you're beautiful :sad:
i know no one else really matters to you (don't mean that as in you're selfish, as in other people can't change the way you think about yourself), but just think of all the people who suffer from obesity & other illnesses
you're beautiful :sad:
nothing anyone says is going to make you feel like you are not fat.
my ex has bdd and ednos.
nothing i said to her would even make her feel the least bit attractive.
but you have to know... you may think you are fat... you may always... but you should concentrate on being ok with who you are... regardless of what you mind tells you.
you can have control... but control over making yourself get better.. not thinner... control the eating disorder and that is the best form of control you will ever have.
and no one can take that away from you.
my ex has bdd and ednos.
nothing i said to her would even make her feel the least bit attractive.
but you have to know... you may think you are fat... you may always... but you should concentrate on being ok with who you are... regardless of what you mind tells you.
you can have control... but control over making yourself get better.. not thinner... control the eating disorder and that is the best form of control you will ever have.
and no one can take that away from you.
hunni, you need to get some help. i've been there before and it's no fun. 89 pounds is a healthy weight if, say, you're 4'8" or so. otherwise, nope.
binging, purging, starving yourself, all have so many side effects, i mean there's the obvious ones, like the dental work being permanent (and made worse if you have braces). but you can do yourself nerve damage with anorexia, and if you purge often enough what can happen is that your oesophagus can split open because all the stomach acid has worn it down. it's not exactly nice.
i understand how you want control, but after a while, as great as it may be at the start, you truly do lose control and all you hear is ana or mia in your head.
please please please, go and get some help.
TDM
binging, purging, starving yourself, all have so many side effects, i mean there's the obvious ones, like the dental work being permanent (and made worse if you have braces). but you can do yourself nerve damage with anorexia, and if you purge often enough what can happen is that your oesophagus can split open because all the stomach acid has worn it down. it's not exactly nice.
i understand how you want control, but after a while, as great as it may be at the start, you truly do lose control and all you hear is ana or mia in your head.
please please please, go and get some help.
TDM
i tried to understnad too... and i even started starving myself so i could really understand. maybe not the best idea because it kinda messed me up with food now, but thats not the point.
the point is that you sound like you want help... which is amazingly good because a lot of anas do not. you would be suprised as to what help is out there. talk to your local mental hospital... most of the time their outpatient has plans that you can talk to someone and get help for virtually nothing if you do not have insurance... and if you do... the co pay is really small.
and your dad... needs to be slapped... sorry to say that.
the point is that you sound like you want help... which is amazingly good because a lot of anas do not. you would be suprised as to what help is out there. talk to your local mental hospital... most of the time their outpatient has plans that you can talk to someone and get help for virtually nothing if you do not have insurance... and if you do... the co pay is really small.
and your dad... needs to be slapped... sorry to say that.
I never went to a therapist. My dad told me to look into it, leaving it up to me. I really needed someone to take charge. He says since I'm 18 I need to. But I have a feelinig I'm going to keep putting it off. I'm back to 90 pounds, maybe less, it's been a while since I stepped on the scale. I've fell in love with something that makes me not hungry. Adderal.
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