I don't know where to begin this time. But its the same place, the same overwhelming physical pain. Its been days since I could stand on my own. I'm only awake because I've slept too long to fall back asleep. I don't know why I'm even on the computer, the screen is so painfully bright. I just don't want to be here alone. But I dont want to go to the ER. I hate those drugs they use. And the way the IV makes my arm freeze from the inside out. I hate the way everyone looks at me, stubbling around, all pale and grey with my hair uncombed and sunken eyes. It all takes too long. I'd be there for at least three hours. And it doesn't fix the pain. Not by a long shot. It doesn't do enough to be worth it.