Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by itmahanh, Mar 28, 2009.

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  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Justifiable? I dont give a rat's ass. And no one I'm going leave behind could possibly feel like I do right now.
  2. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    sweet :hug: care to talk?.... I'm only a message or a PM away... I care :mellow:

  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Thanks but no. I cant even think right now. All I can do is listen to the thoughts and feelings and let them take me away. I hurt so much and cant make it stop. But the thoughts will. They'll stop it all.
  4. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    ok :hug: i can understand if you can't talk. but keep posting sweet - even if its nothing you feel is important. just stay here and let me virtually hold onto you.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: I'm sorry carla. :hug:
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Yea Carla keep posting.
    We WANT you here! :hug: :wub:
  7. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Keep posting Carla you've got friends here that care :hug:
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I cant handle all the stuff in my head. I'm exploding from it all. Gonna go out and just let the thoughts take completely over. I cant hold them quiet anymore. And as long as I keep them in my head the rest doesnt hurt as much. They are my logic. Cuz all the rest doesnt make any sense at all. Not one damn bit. I dont understand. I cant understand. It's bringing back things I just dont want to remember. I dont want to hurt anymore. I dont and no matter what anyone promises it will happen again and again and again. It always does. There is truly only one solution. I'm ready.
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Carla, hun, you know if I could take it all away so you no longer had this internal war going on I would. I am glad you are posting here so we can remind you of how important you are. You have made it past times like this in the past. Don't give in to the feelings now. :hug:
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Gentle I wish i could explain. But I dont even get it yet. All I know is I'm everywhere right now. My head, my body, my heart, my feelings and my thoughts. Pulling and ripping me to shreds. And that the only thing that will stop it will stop everything. But Im not afraid of that. I'm more afraid of the pain right now. I'm not what I thought I was or could be and never will be that. So sorry but it wins this time. Finally.
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