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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by teddisonca, Oct 13, 2010.

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  1. teddisonca

    teddisonca New Member

    i am a 23 year old college student, i have no job no friends, and a family that doesnt want me to come home, im currently waiting on a contract with the army, the last year and a half has been really bad, i first tried enlisting to the air force but was deemed unfit "ADHA,Anxiety,OCD,Dsylexia,and heart murmur" i tooked that hard i ended up living in my moms run down garage/shed out behind her house for four months. Between that and this girl i had been seeing for over a year breaking up so she could be with her ex. currently im in school ive become really depressed i cant keep up with my studies, and for what ever reason i have developed this attitude so between those two things and lack of motivation i have pissed everyone off in my schools rotc department, i can handle people laughing at me i have gotten use to that from highschool, i just cant handle the constant barrage of insults and just the feeling of being unwelcomed, i live alone and even though i have been back in school for a year i have yet to make a friend, i just cant connect with people i constantly feel as though people hate me for all these reasons, and i know im overly sensative about certian things but it just feels impossible to overcome these things, ive been told i over analyze a lot and i hate it because even several weeks after an incident my mind will tell me these small details that i missed and how they really meant something else but i was just to dumb to pick it up at the time, a couple weeks ago i started to lose it im just tired and nothing helps and i fucking hate sounding like a crying sack, i just keep holding on to this notion that some where ill meet someone that i can relate to and have good communication with but all the people i meet seem put off by me, i just never really understood the desire for death until recently and now i can just feel how free it would be,
     
  2. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    Hey hun. Welcome to the forum. Im sorry you havnt had much luck with friends and your feeling so down. You shouldn't have to worry about nasty people and insults here, its a nice place with good people. I hope you can connect to someone here. If you ever need to just PM me
     
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