A bit of a rant to let out stress.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ASkylitDrive, Sep 30, 2010.

  1. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    Don't mind me. Just ranting :p

    Things are building up again. School, a new family where I don't even fit in. Me realizing my dad HONESTLY doesn't care. I've broken down a few times, and all my dad said was I was being drama into the household by lying and going 'poor me'. I don't even go poor me, nor do I lie. I feel guilty the moment someone worries about me, or if I break down even alone in my room. I just keep going back to sophmore year when I finally told him, and showed him, I cut myself. All he did was say it was a phase. Well its not a phase, and I just want to leave this house.

    I have home options. With my boyfriend in colorado, with friends. It just hurts I can't move out until sophomore year of college. The days are just going by so slow because I have a future and an escape. Why can't I just get what I want just once?

    I don't have friends at school anymore. Well, I have one.. but she just uses me as her sympathy blanket. Always telling me her petty problems and expecting me to cry about it. She keeps complaining about being sick, lying about a kidney infection, her unable to keep a puppy, how sexually bad her new boyfriend is.

    I'm not sure what to think now. The only people who care for me are Ryan and his friends, and I want nothing more than to surround myself with them and feel safe. Atleast safe in his arms. I can't. They live to far. And I wont see them for years.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So glad you decided to talk about how you feel...it seems like you have found a survival technique to deal with your family...I think it is important to stick to your own program and get where you want to go...please continue to tell us what is going on for you...big hugs, J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i think talking to a councillor at the school would help someone trained to listen to care. Try to do well okay in your program that way when you do go live your life your way you will have skills education to get a job where you go. time actually goes by fast when one keeps busy try getting involved in school groups make new friends that way. take care okay I hope all works out soon and you will feel comfortable in your new surroundings
  4. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys. Its just hard to deal with.
    My dad's girlfriend moved in.. She has a 16 year old daughter, a 19 year old son. and his best friend. All of them are together like glue.
    I've never gotten close with my dad I met him when I was 12ish.
    So.. My dad fits right in and it hurts so much that I don't. I just feel like the awkward extra mistake.
    It'll be okay in the future. I'll leave and move in with someone.
  5. A.SoNiC.boY

    A.SoNiC.boY Well-Known Member

    :hug: I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time hun. Feeling like you don't fit in is never a great way to have to feel. For what its worth I think if you hold out things will get better. They say the darkest part of the night is right before the dawn. * i think thats how that goes *
    Stay safe hun.