A bit of an issue..

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Ferret, Aug 9, 2011.

  1. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    Well, maybe it seems less serious than what I make it out to be. I met this girl anyway, at dance class. She's mixed ethnicity, shes Chinese but has been in Canada most of her life. I've already asked her out for coffee and she said yes, but since then I've been looking at her blogs through a link on her facebook page, and from what she's written she seems heavily into Christianity, enjoys the whole bible reading thing, volunteers at her chuch. I'm a Christian too, but have never read the bible in my life even though I was asked to. But I don't believe in the whole concept of the bible as such, so I know our beliefs are going to differ anyway. The question I have is, is this even worth pursuing? I've done quite a bit of things in my life that would definitely not be approved by the church because the only time I go is at weddings or christmas eve. I haven't gone out with her yet but this whole thing botters me a little. I was hoping she was going to be a non religious chinese so we wouldnt have to much to worry about. I don't want to go to church every sunday but wouldnt mind going sometimes. Maybe I'm setting myself up for failure. I have a very strong attraction to people of mixed races and i know each comes with their own cultural and religious differences. Now that I have my chance I don't know if it's even worth it. What do you think?
     
  2. Joan alone

    Joan alone Member

    i dont think that things like that should really bother you. you will always differ on things, and if you explain why you are not as into christianity as she is, im sure she'd understand.
    having done some research on relationships, i have seen that many couples dont agree on religious matters, but it doesnt mean much in the overall situation.
    if you like her, i say go for it. if she likes you, your not going to church every sunday shouldnt really bother her. my best friend is catholic and goes to church every sunday as well as prays daily. i didnt think that the friendship would work as im not religious at all. im a scientist. but, we are closer because we can discuss what we think.

    i think your happiness is definately worth it. i think you should try and do what makes you happy, and not worry about the small things.

    hope this helped...
     
  3. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the advice. It actually cheered me up quite a bit today :) I'm always over thinking about stuff, even the not so important things. It only adds to my stress level.
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Am catholic, was engaged to a jewish boy, married a protestant and then married an atheist (after divorcing the first one might I add :laugh:)
    Only problem that ever arose was with the atheist, too big a difference I guess :unsure:
     
  5. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    I think people with at least a little faith are more content with themselves. She might help me to see things in a different light. I have some atheist friends, and I think in some ways they've warped my mind a little. I don't talk about my beliefs but I know that what I believe are unique to me and I don't have to side with friends on that issue just because they're my friends.

    Shes not back in town yet, so I don't know when we're meeting up. I hope it's soon. I'm starting to forget about the whole thing :laugh:
     
  6. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    hard to say on this
    I would say give it a try because that's the only way you would know.
    everybody is different.
    I had a cousin that would talk like she was super religious and go through phases where she wanted to do everything the bible said and wanted to "wait for marriage" etc etc.
    next thing she'd get bored and then she'd even cheat on her boyfriend.

    Other people are more firm in their beliefs and follow them very well.

    I don't have any specific faith and think religion is fine but everybody is different with it.

    I think as long as you respect her thoughts on things it would be fine.
    Respect goes two ways and she would have to respect you as well.
     
  7. jasonkramer

    jasonkramer Well-Known Member

    only problem i see with the religion crap is how unlikely she she will be to sleep you you early on. if your ok with waiting then go for it have have a relationship. if the only problem you see is the religion crap and everything else is fine, i say dont let that get in the way of happiness.

    clearly i dislike religion. but if the person makes you happy then go with them.
     
  8. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    I've thought about that, but I don't think I should let that interfere with things right now. There might never be a time where we'd have to talk about that.

    I guess I find dating someone of a different race interesting whether or not it will ever work out.
     
  9. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    I think I'm just going to hang out with her as a friend. I just don't think it could work out.
     
  10. Joan alone

    Joan alone Member

    you never know. start with fiends and maybe something will ahppen. if not, we're always here. :) xoxo
     
  11. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    look religion isnt the foundation for a relationship, its about the person inside. dont base any decision on that alone.
    have coffee, meet up and see where it goes