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A bit too much

Ardentli

Well-Known Member
#1
There is a lot to this ima try to be breif. My s.o. of 2 years wants to no longer be ina relationship and move into his own place. And i don't have people to talk to about this. Everyone is in their own issues and coming to me about them all at once. No one knows whats going on with me. Everyone is litteraly calling and msging me about their problems at once like the universe finds it funny. My birthday is in a week btw. I am rapidly cycling at random through greif stages and i only noticed when i started getting angry at it all.

And ive done this before because the things he said are the same my ex of a 10 year relationship said. Never got to live on their own. Wants me to be more independent and its hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves...

My mom calls me crying, her and grandpa upset my aunt passed from covid. My sister's bf is cheating. My dad needs money. My best friend needs money. My other bestfriend needs advice and attention cause shes depressed. I can't cayltch a moment alone to have a private breakdown because i constantly need to be okay. I work full time 51 hrs this week. And i have developed this pain in my stomach, like cramping folding feeling, it makes me not want to eat.

I keep lstealing time in the bathroom to force myself to dissociate so i don't cry and flip out on someone. I just keep tilting from anger to saddness. And after doing that in the bathroom im just numb but functional...so yeah
 

johnDoen

Outsider in the Realm of Lost and Found
#2
There is a lot to this ima try to be breif. My s.o. of 2 years wants to no longer be ina relationship and move into his own place. And i don't have people to talk to about this. Everyone is in their own issues and coming to me about them all at once. No one knows whats going on with me. Everyone is litteraly calling and msging me about their problems at once like the universe finds it funny. My birthday is in a week btw. I am rapidly cycling at random through greif stages and i only noticed when i started getting angry at it all.

And ive done this before because the things he said are the same my ex of a 10 year relationship said. Never got to live on their own. Wants me to be more independent and its hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves...

My mom calls me crying, her and grandpa upset my aunt passed from covid. My sister's bf is cheating. My dad needs money. My best friend needs money. My other bestfriend needs advice and attention cause shes depressed. I can't cayltch a moment alone to have a private breakdown because i constantly need to be okay. I work full time 51 hrs this week. And i have developed this pain in my stomach, like cramping folding feeling, it makes me not want to eat.

I keep lstealing time in the bathroom to force myself to dissociate so i don't cry and flip out on someone. I just keep tilting from anger to saddness. And after doing that in the bathroom im just numb but functional...so yeah
If you feel like breaking down suddenly, remember to get an emergency hotline for your immediate need: SF's list of hotlines. For the mean time, we (me and others in SF) will be here with you, though we recommend people who are more professional in relationship and mental health issues, like a therapist or a counselor.

The time is tough on all of us. It puts us on a mentally lockdown, where everyone is trapped to their own problems, losses and grieves without realizing that others are doing the same. Please don't blame your family and friends, they really need you at the moment for a bit certainty and stability to survive the time. You can let them know what you have been going through, I hope they are empathy and compassionate enough to listen.

Take care. You can check the list of nice things I made for a bit of entertainment.
 

Autumn1973

Looking for people who will accept me for who I am
#3
*console Hi, Ardentli. I know what it's like to have to put on a happy face for everyone. I've been doing that for so much of my life that it's starting to become second nature every time I walk out the door, no matter how I'm really feeling inside. I also know all too well how hard it is sometimes to keep yourself from flipping out on someone, especially lately when I'm at work. I do everything I can to avoid others and keep to myself. It works, but I only feel happy now when I'm at home and can be myself. Wish there was something I could write to instantly make you feel better, but I'm looking for answers about how to deal with this, too. The best I can offer is try to focus on thinking of things that make you smile. :)

Hope you feel better. Big Hug *hug

Autumn
 

Nick

☆☆Admin-tastic ☆☆
Admin
SF Social Media
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#4
Hi @Ardentli
Someone once gave me this advice, and I have to say it was some of the best advice I've ever been given. You have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help other put on theirs. It's the message they give you every time you board a plane. It's really not different in our lives either though. If you can't breath, you're going to suffocate trying to help everyone else breath. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. To say, I'm sorry but I really need a few days. To day I need a shoulder to cry on right now. To tell the people in your life you need a pause.

I don't know about your friends, but if my best friend said to me "I'm struggling right now", I'd be more than willing to give him whatever it was he needed. If that was some quite, okay. If that was a laugh, let me dig up some jokes. If that was to talk, I'll listen. I know the people in your life have their own things going on right now, but maybe give them the chance to be there for you. If they can't reach out here, reach out where ever you can.
 

Ardentli

Well-Known Member
#5
Hi @Ardentli
Someone once gave me this advice, and I have to say it was some of the best advice I've ever been given. You have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help other put on theirs. It's the message they give you every time you board a plane. It's really not different in our lives either though. If you can't breath, you're going to suffocate trying to help everyone else breath. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. To say, I'm sorry but I really need a few days. To day I need a shoulder to cry on right now. To tell the people in your life you need a pause.

I don't know about your friends, but if my best friend said to me "I'm struggling right now", I'd be more than willing to give him whatever it was he needed. If that was some quite, okay. If that was a laugh, let me dig up some jokes. If that was to talk, I'll listen. I know the people in your life have their own things going on right now, but maybe give them the chance to be there for you. If they can't reach out here, reach out where ever you can.
I feel like eveyone is ripping the oxygen mask out of my hands, cause im alrwady weak and out of vreath. Like everyone and everything just keeps taking and i can't catch a breathe. I finally open up a bit to a friend and they still ask for money. And i know my dad will to tomorrow. My birthday is sunday but everyone will still need something from me. And i have to be independent. I can't ask for help because my problems are too much. Or too simple that i should already be able to deal with them. I should be able to do all these things and the fact that i struggle is too much for everyone else. Im not trying hard enough even though im tired of this after 15 years. Everyone leaves , everone gets tired of me and i can't shrink myself any smaller. I keep pulling back to not inconvenience everyone but i still manage to. Im angry and empty and tired.
 

Autumn1973

Looking for people who will accept me for who I am
#6
*bdayHappy Birthday, Ardentli. Big Birthday Hug *hugThe members of this site wont take from you. They will accept you for who you are and what you're going through and offer you support and friendship.
 

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