I went for my assessment out of curiously at the mental health and wellbeing centre (dumb ass name, and no sign on the door), I found out what I am suffering from although the doctor had already pretty much diagnosed that a few weeks back, after that I stopped taking my medicines). I pretty much don't want to say what is wrong with me because I have told people in real life and they have now made me feel so ashamed and rejected me as a friend. So anyway like I said I told my two closest friends in real life and one did not understand at all and called me a freak, the other my housemate asked for some more information to help, she then promised two times to talk to me. I got the information, she cancelled both times and I told her how upset I was she said she couldn't handle it and wants me to move out (her place her rules I am fucked). Back to the assessment at the unwellbeing centre, they advised that the treatment I need is no longer available on the nhs DUE TO THE DEMAND. Thank you free healthcare nhs shit, seriously if your American and reading this, tell Obama to stick his healthcare plane.....well you get my drift, they did say the other treatment I need is not available until September this year at the earliest, BUT he did say if I was a women I could get it next week, cheers sorry for being born with a penis, In the meanwhile I had an assessment at work for my fitness to work, they advised I needed extra support to drop to four days a week and too not do certain tasks. Brilliant some positive help so I thought..........no. My manager has since said I cannot drop hours, I must do the jobs for at least half my day they have demanded, and that I will still continue my other role unsupported, cheers then. Sooooooo I thought I would try and reach out online as you do, so far I am still waiting on replys to most of my messages, one friend online did give me the gold nugget of advice when I said I had no idea what to, the reply was "you will figure something out" they then disappeared and I have not heard a squeak since. So pretty much since then I have started cutting my wrists a little deeper each night, hoping that one night I manage to do the job right. I am going to be pretty much homeless in a few weeks, jobless because I cannot cope with it, and I have no support available. I am figuring I have exhausted all routes this time, I mean I tried.