A Brief Description Of Why I Am Here At SF -MAY BE TRIGGERING-

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Jaimeisbroken, Jul 6, 2012.

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  1. Jaimeisbroken

    Jaimeisbroken Well-Known Member


    I tried to make this as brief as possible but it ended up being quite long and for that I apologize. People tell me I am long winded, I guess they are right. :wink:

    Last year September 2nd 2011 was a Friday and it was just a short while after my 10th grade school year began. In an effort to condense the next 23 hours into something short I will just give the basics of what happened.

    My friends and I just got out of school and wanted to kick off the weekend with a trip to the mall so we could hangout and have fun. While at the mall we ran into a guy we went to school with. Neither of us really knew this guy other than knowing who he was. Basically none of us were friends with him or unfriendly with him for that matter.

    This guy hung around with us for a few hours and he was paying more attention to me than my friends. That made me feel a little special. He was being really nice and SEEMINGLY respectful to me. After several hours my friends was ready to leave the mall and go home for the night, but I was having fun hanging out with that guy so I stayed at the mall with him and he offered to drive me home.

    Everything was going good and as he was driving me home he pretended that his van was running badly and said he needed to pull over to check on it. He also asked me if he could use my cell phone so he could call his dad. He lifted up the hood and pretended to be checking out the engine, meanwhile I was still sitting in the passenger seat.

    He climbed back in the van and from out of nowhere he punched me and dragged me into the back of his van where he physically and sexually assaulted me. I this took about 15 minutes.

    I was trapped in the back of his van as he drove away. I could only assume he was taking me somewhere so that he could kill me and dispose of my body.

    To this day neither the police or I know where he drove me. The only thing we know for sure is that it was in southern Indiana because of my cell phone records that the police acquired while investigating what happened to me in the 10 or so hours after dad reported me missing.

    For the next 23 or so hours I was held prisoner in that guys van where he repeatedly assaulted me. In the process of this 23 hour ordeal I received the following injuries:
    Swollen Eyes
    Cut over my left eye that required stitches
    Injuries to my wrists and ankles
    Tears to my private areas
    Broken left arm
    Bruises on my arms, legs, back, ribs, throat, and face
    A perforated bowel that required surgery
    There was one other injury, but I have been unable to talk about that one, not even to my therapist.

    I also became pregnant which I want to emphasize that I do not consider that to be part of the injuries.

    After those 23 hours when he finally decided to let me go he drove his van in front of my home, opened the side door and pushed me out onto the street broken and naked. I honestly thought and somewhat prepared myself for my own death. I assumed he was going to kill me and he just wanted me out of his van when he did it. After I landed on the ground I sort of braced myself for being stabbed to death with his knife. As I heard his van drive away I felt so unsure if I was even still alive. I thought maybe he did stab me and I just hadn't died yet. It took me several seconds for me to even realize that I was on the ground in front of my own home. As soon as I knew where I was at I ran as best as I could with my messed up and broken body and burst through the front door where my dad and little sister were sitting.

    As you can imagine dad was so happy to see that I was alive and home. He used a throw blanket that we keep on the back of our couch and wrapped me up with it. My memory for the next 30 minutes to an hours is kinda in a mush. I guess I was in shock. I do remember my dad asking a few questions. One question he asked was if I was raped. I don't remember if he asked that while we were at home or on the way to the hospital. I don't even remember getting into the car to go to the hospital. I don't remember answering him but he told me since then that I nodded my head, "Yes".

    At the hospital I had a full examination including a Sexual Assault Evidence Collection Kit. I talked as best I could to the detective that was at the hospital. Between what I was able to tell the investigator, and what my friends said as far as who they last saw me with, the police had enough evidence to arrest that guy. He was in jail within a matter of like 2 or 3 hours after letting me go. No one knows why he let me go or why he didn't try to run from the police.

    The next day the detective was given a more detailed account of what happened to me, and over the course of the next several weeks they got the entire story.

    When it came time for that guy to plead innocent or guilty, for some undisclosed reason he pled guilty. He never offered an explanation why he chose to admit guilt.

    In December he was sentenced and the judge over the case didn't grant him much leniency. If he is a good prisoner he will not be eligible for parole till 2038.

    The school I attended at the time was like I said the same school that guy attended. He was a 18 year old senior. His half brother who was also his best friend also attended the same school.

    The half brother harassed me in the hallway at school. At the time I didn't know he was the half brother. Once we found out who he was we went to court and filed for a court order of protection against him so that he could no longer legally contact me. I also transferred to a private school where I could enjoy my anonymity.

    For that last 10 moths since this happened I have been going to therapy and trying to get all of this processed in my head so that I could live in some semblance of peace.

    I had a blog for sharing my thoughts and emotions. I also had a Facebook account that was filled with people from various support forums. About 6 moths ago I began getting random messages on my blog and email that were rude in nature and somewhat harassing, but not freaky harassing if that makes any sense. About 2 weeks ago these messages and emails because rather disturbing and threatening in nature and by the wording this person was using I had reason to believe that the sender of these messages was actually the half brother of the guy who assaulted me. Dad called the police and they investigated it and I was right, it was the half brother. Due to the court order of protection that I had against him and the fact that he violated it on multiple occasions and those violations included direct threats against me, the police arrested him.

    In the process of investigating him the police while searching his computer found all the evidence they needed and they also found some images of things stuff he shouldn't have had. For this to make sense I need to explain one thing that I didn't mention before. While I was in that guys van, he used my own camera phone to take pictures of me while he hurt me. It is those pictures the police found on his computer.

    So now I am wigging out quite a lot because there is a chance I may need to return to court for this stuff. I couldn't let the half brother get away with hurting me, and I sure as he ll am not going to let this guy get away with having these kind of pictures of me. I am still scared of going back to court because I know it is going to bring up a lot of old memories that I have been working hard to put behind me.

    I will know more about what roll if any I will have with the half brother and court this coming Monday when I meet with the prosecutor of his case. I am hoping it is nothing more than a formality for me to be asked questions.

    Anyway, if you made it this far then I thank you for taking the time to listen. I am sorry that it wasn't as short as I meant it to be.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun the most important thing for you to do now if you have not already is to get some therapy for post trauma a good psychologist that deals with trauma that can help you heal from allthis tragedy YOU do whatever it takes to HEAL you now okay hugs
  3. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    That sounds horrible :sad:

    I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I was never raped or molested, but I was physically abused and my sister was molested by our stepfather of 7 years. I saw the devastating impact it had on her and her life, as well as the toll his physical, mental and emotional abuse took on me. So in a way, I can relate.


    I'm so glad you survived and that your abuser is now behind bars, and I hope the half brother ends up behind bars as well. It sounds like a disturbing family. My stepfather also came from a truly disturbing family... they are all of the same ilk - pure evil, if such a thing exists, and I believe that it does.

    You take care of yourself. It took a lot of strength to post what you did here, and I commend you for that. Don't worry about being long winded, I have been accused of that myself. You have every right to vent after what you've been through. I hope you find the support that you need to get through this. And finally, might I add that you seem quite intelligent and I do believe that you have a bright future ahead of you once you are able to recover from this nightmare.
  4. red ribbons

    red ribbons Well-Known Member

    I think ALL molesters should get the immediate death penalty. Jaime, I am so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you will be surrounded by kind, caring, loving people that will help you through this. I know what you are going through. Been there. Hugs! I wish I could be there to help you through this. Please know that there are some people that genuinely do care about others and will help you, and never forget hope. Cling to your dreams. Some day you will be able to get beyond this and be an advocate for others who have gone through the same thing. You are strong-you have survived what a lot of people don't and can't. Thinking of you and sending you love. Remember, you are a shining light in this world. You will rise above this heinous act against you and your body will heal. YOU DID NOT CAUSE IT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. Don't let anybody guilt trip you and walk away from toxic people. You will instinctively know them now. Try to find all the beauty in life and focus only on it. Surround yourself with beauty. If you are into writing, art, or music, start getting your feelings out that way so you will begin to heal. Peace and blessings.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 7, 2012
  5. Jaimeisbroken

    Jaimeisbroken Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys.
  6. lotte

    lotte Well-Known Member

    Wow, red ribbons had some really good advice. So sorry you had to go through this. Really hoping that Monday will go smoothly for you. Praying for you! :hug:
  7. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    That's just so terrible.. I'm sorry you had to go thru it :( I hope you are getting the supports you need.. :hug:
  8. my heart goes out to you & your family . i wish you the best of luck & much love & comfort through your healing process
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    <Mod Edit - Acy - Insensitive>
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2012
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    OMG, That is horrible, saddening, vile, disgusting. He is a MONSTER. I am so glad he is jailed, Always know that I am here for you anytime you may need me :hug:
  11. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    Sometimes I have Batmanesque fantasies about going after guys like this and messing them up… because I have nothing better to do, I suppose.

    I agree-- what you described is absolutely vile, not something that a human being should be capable of, or that anyone should have to endure. It does sound hard and I'm sure your anxieties are high, but I really hope you can go after this guy and put him where he belongs…
  12. Jaimeisbroken

    Jaimeisbroken Well-Known Member

    I have been seeing a therapist for the last 11 months.

    I'm sorry you were physically abused.
    The half-brother is out on bail right now. They haven't really charged him with anything other than terroristic threatening and possession of underage por n being that I was sixteen. Although I don't remember the half brother being in the van they can tell by the pictures there were two guys but one of them never showed their face. I honestly only have memory of one. I don't understand how that can be. I don't know what all is going to happen yet.

    Thanks for your support.

    My dad and little sister are here to help me get through this, but unfortunately my mom died in a car accident in May 2010. Most of my other family live in Iceland where I am from.

    Thanks you for your support.

    Yes she did, and thanks for your support.

    On Monday the investigator asked me if I had any memory of the half brother being in the van, but I have no memory of anyone but the original guy. The cops did say they could tell from the pics on that guys computer that their was 2 people in the van with me at one point, but I can't remember for some reason.

    Thank you and I am I think.

    Thank you

    Thank you and I am glad he is in prison too.

    I had a batmanesque fantasy dream along these lines too.

    I won't let him get away with anything. I couldn't live with myself if I did. I barely can now.

    Thanks for your support.
  13. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    Your strength is truly admirable. You have been through so much but appear to be so strong and courageous. Sorry you have had such a bad time. THanks for sharing ur story. Keep up the hard work. Sending u hugs!
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Jamie. So sorry to hear about the horrific experience that you went through at the hands of those guys. Also, sorry to hear that you're mom died in a car accident. I'm sure she's your guardian angel now. Keep trying to get the half-brother put back in jail with the guy who attacked you. The half-brother sounds to me like the kind of guy who would seek revenge on you and your family for having his half-brother thrown in jail. And a restraining order isn't really going to stop him. I hope your father is armed.
  15. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Hi Jaime,

    Can I just say that I am happy about the sentence the initial perpetrator received? I hope that doesn't come across the wrong way... but I personally had someone in my family only get 2 years for 15 years of abuse. I am glad the justice system for you, didn't give such a laughable sentence as I am used to hearing. I hope the sentence holds out too, you mentioned that good behaviour could get an earlier release date. I hope that no deals are made with this person, even though they were a "teenager" when they did it, they still chose to do it. So.

    That being said, having to go through the court wringer again, of course will make you re-live the memories, but I hope that in this case you don't have to specifically discuss the other person and all those other things that happened to you. I hope that this time the things you end up having to discuss are more minimized; not saying it won't still remind you... but I hope that you don't have to sit and explain 15 hours worth of other things because of this new perpetrator man too.

    I also hope that his sentence, again, is heavy. You are very brave putting these people away... because that means no one else has to go through what you are now either. So many victims can't find the courage to call the police, or go to court etc... and it's so sad.

    I hope that this time on this forum, and wherever you are now too, that you can feel safer and less violated. That you don't have to look over your shoulder each and every single time... I hope you can find more anonymity here, and maybe be able to again, reclaim your life.

    I also hope that no one else is involved in your case either, as obviously it came as a shock that this guy had photos related to another case; I hope that he is the only one with those photographs now, so that it FINALLY can be put behind you.
  16. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Let me guess, you must be from Canada, the land where the criminals roam wild and free. If this had happened in Canada, I'm sure the sentence would have been very minimal at best. Thankfully, the Conservatives are doing their best to toughen up our legal system, but criminals still get through the cracks.
  17. Jaimeisbroken

    Jaimeisbroken Well-Known Member

    We are from Iceland and have a survivalist mentality. Further we love and actively participate in our 2nd amendment rights. We both are armed and we both have spent countless hours at the range.

    I am sure the half brother will serve time but I think it will be 6-18 month. I will know ore in the coming months.
  18. Jaimeisbroken

    Jaimeisbroken Well-Known Member

    No, I meant the earliest he can get out is 2038 as long as he is a good inmate. He will spend 27 years behind bars, and he deserves every day of it.

    I'm not sure what all my role will be in the half brother's court deal. I think it will be limited being that I have no memory of him even being in the van and the evidence the police have only show that he was there.

    There is a lot of cases around the world where someone gets off easy for a horrible crime, it is a shame.

    Thanks for your reply and support.
  19. Jaimeisbroken

    Jaimeisbroken Well-Known Member

    Before you criticize Canada, you might want to criticize America too.

    In Rhode Island, 18-year-old Josh Maciorski was convicted of having sex with a 13-year-old girl, but sentenced to probation. Two years later he molested a 14-year-old girl and served just one year. Then, when he got out, Maciorski raped a 16-year-old girl. His sentence after this third strike - an unbelievable three years in prison.

    In Missouri, 19-year old Darrell Jackson pleaded guilty to repeatedly sexually abusing a little girl, beginning when she was just eight. But when Jackson came up for sentencing, a soft judge gave him four months in prison and five years probation.

    In Minnesota, Joseph Duncan stood in front of a judge, accused of molesting a young boy. Despite the fact that Duncan had previously served 16 years for raping another young boy at gunpoint, the judge released him on just $15,000 bail. Duncan promptly skipped bail and headed for Idaho, where he allegedly kidnapped, raped, and killed a 9-year old boy, molested his sister, and killed their family.

    And don't forget about this gem of a story.

    I could mention dozens more here in the states and many many more world-wide.

    Please don't be argumentative.
  20. Jaimeisbroken

    Jaimeisbroken Well-Known Member

    I am not strong, trust me. I just have this mindset that people should be rewarded for their work good works and punished for their evil works. I am just following my conscious. In a lot of way I feel it is tied to my own survival. Meaning if I am going to be able to reclaim any of my self confidence or peace of mind I have to follow this through.
    Thanks for your support.
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