I vary between feeling ok and feeling utterly hopeless. I went to therapy, I thought that would help, it was fine but the group therapy was what really helped. Then the therapist put it on hiatus because he wants more people to join. I thought I was close friends with the women I had met there, we did things together, slowly they started pulling away and I don't hear from them anymore. So I lost the only contacts I had offline. I try to make connections with people but it doesn't work. Old friends don't want to reconnect, which feels like a rejection. New people don't want to get to know me, which is another type of rejection. So either way I am still alone. I seem to attract men who treat me like a piece of meat and don't care how they make me feel. I just want to be loved by someone for once in my life. I seem to be willing to put up with more crap than I deserve, just so that I won't be alone. My sister started hearing voices, so they put her on enough meds to make her like a vegetable. So I have to worry about her on top of a million other things. The stress and pain never stops, and I just can't take it anymore. I just want to check out because that would seem much easier at this point.