I guess what I really need is motivation. Motivation to get up in the morning and go to class. Motivation to go to work. Motivation to stay healthy. But no matter how hard I try, I can't force myself to do these things. I've just stopped caring. The want is there, the desire to do these things and be successful is there... but I just can't seem to hold on to that desire long enough to accomplish anything. So, I've dropped out of college, will probably be fired when I go into to work tomorrow, and spend most my of my time isolated in my room and making unhealthy choices. The fact of the matter is though... I don't care anymore. I'm not sure what it is that's making me feel this way. Depression, probably, but then coupled with my lack of faith in well, just about anything. Being depressed has seemed to making me question my own existence more and more, thus making me even more depressed than before. I would LOVE to see a doctor, but starving college drop outs don't get good health care in the US (though I guess no one really does either) and can't afford a doctor visit. Well. Here I am, calling out to anyone really. Advice, comfort, understanding, anything would be nice... I don't know if it will help me get out of this funk, but it should make me feel a little bit better. I feel if nothing changes soon, I'll just rot away, give up.