A chronic form of suicide

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Anonymous3, Feb 1, 2008.

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  1. Anonymous3

    Anonymous3 New Member

    I guess what I really need is motivation. Motivation to get up in the morning and go to class. Motivation to go to work. Motivation to stay healthy. But no matter how hard I try, I can't force myself to do these things. I've just stopped caring. The want is there, the desire to do these things and be successful is there... but I just can't seem to hold on to that desire long enough to accomplish anything.

    So, I've dropped out of college, will probably be fired when I go into to work tomorrow, and spend most my of my time isolated in my room and making unhealthy choices. The fact of the matter is though... I don't care anymore. I'm not sure what it is that's making me feel this way. Depression, probably, but then coupled with my lack of faith in well, just about anything.

    Being depressed has seemed to making me question my own existence more and more, thus making me even more depressed than before. I would LOVE to see a doctor, but starving college drop outs don't get good health care in the US (though I guess no one really does either) and can't afford a doctor visit.

    Well. Here I am, calling out to anyone really. Advice, comfort, understanding, anything would be nice... I don't know if it will help me get out of this funk, but it should make me feel a little bit better. I feel if nothing changes soon, I'll just rot away, give up.
     
  2. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    is there a free clinic in your area? If so, check them out, if not, see if any health care facilites have free or reduced cost services. Please do it soon. You sound desprate. Pleasea investigate any mental health services in your area. I beg you.
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Ok, I'm not a doctor so take anything I say with a grain of salt. But reflecting on my own experiences you are in a deep depression. And depression is a cruel demon. The more depressed you become the more unmotivated you become. The more unmotivated, the deeper the depression and around and around and around it goes. You don't want to do anything and dont care about anything. And it becomes so painful when others think you are just being lazy. And you just cant seem to talk to anyone about all this crap. Am I close? But please remember, that is all the depression and none of it is your fault. But you have to keep yourself motivated enough to seek out help. IF you can't see a doctor is there a support group that you can attend? I find them so helpful because you are surrounded by other people who feel the same way and understand what you are going through. Please give it a try. Support groups are also great for connecting you to
    resources you could never of imagined or thought of on your own. Who knows, they may even be able to find you a pdoc through a community clinic or something. In the mean time you have found a wonderful community here at SF, filled with people who care about each other and are always willing to help. Keep posting and seek out all the help that is available here. But most importantly, keep looking after yourself. Be good and be safe.
     
  4. Anonymous3

    Anonymous3 New Member

    I"ll do so, but I don't really know what to look for. Do walk in clinics take care of mental health? And do I need some form of health care for those? I'm normally a very healthy person who came from a family that followed the whole "walk-it-off" method of medicine, so doctors, clinics, health care, is all very new for me.
     
  5. Anonymous3

    Anonymous3 New Member

    Wow itmahanh... you pretty much nailed it. Means a lot to see someone that understanding of it. I'll check into support groups. Being close to a metropolitan area, I'm sure I can find something.

    But thanks, that did make me feel a lot less alone and misunderstood in the whole matter.
     
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    We have a mental health organization where I am and they can get you involved with support groups and free counselling with docs, therapsits and pdocs. Try googling mental health. Should be enough there to keep you occupied for hours and get your mind off the depression (ha). Good luck and so happy to see that you are willing to take a stab at it. Sometimes just being able to spend the energy trying to find help can perk you right up. And when it does, hold on tight to that good feeling and dont let go.
     
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