A Close Family Friend Passed Away

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by thegman, Dec 11, 2007.

  1. thegman

    thegman Member

    Recently, my dad's best friend took his life for no apparent reason. He was married, had two kids, and was well liked within the community. But his death left me with a mix of emotions. This might sound petty but when I found out he committed suicide I was mad at him. I thought it was pretty selfish and I was mad that he didn't try to get help from his family or friends. But during his funeral my dad gave a euology and said that this friend was the closest my dad had to a brother and that he loved him. After hearing this I was the one that felt selfish. So now I want to talk to my dad, but I need help. I can't understand why my dad's friend did what he did. But I don't know how to talk about it to my dad. I don't know if I should say what I think, which is I'm angry that he would kill himself, or do I just try to comfort my dad. Any help would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
  2. incombustible2000

    incombustible2000 Well-Known Member

    if you read many post on here, you would relize that many people with deppression ... hide it very well from family and friends, not wanting to seem out of place, not wanting to be a burden... all kinds of reason, I am sure there must of been some serious issues going on, or he would not have done this, probaly really hard to understand read post on here, and it can help you understand why someone would do this
  3. thegman

    thegman Member

    I know this might sound bad, but I'm not focused on while he did what he did. I just need help on talking about it to the people that I care about and how to deal with the different emotions I feel.
  4. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    you could invite him to sit beside you at the pc and show him this post hun. the rest will come on its own.

    granny x
  5. PontyCruizer

    PontyCruizer Well-Known Member

    thats a good idea endinday/granny - i think that showin your dad compasion if the key to your question - dont tell him your mad that his mate took his life - tell him your there for him and buy him a drink and shoot some pool - let him know he's got a shoulder to cry on - if you give him a sign that your there - just a hand on his shoulder and say, im here 4 you dad, i love you - he will open up to you then you can talk to him freely and you will wonder why u asked the question imo
  6. thegman

    thegman Member

    I defiantly will talk to my dad about this and tell him how I feel and that I'm there for him. But I still feel confused in a way, on one hand I'm kinda mad that he took his life and I'm not sure I can forgive him for that. But on the other hand I feel mad at myself because there was something wrong that I won't understand. I'm not really sure if that makes any sense, but its how I feel and I don't know if its bad to feel like that.
  7. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    You dont need to forgive him, he is not asking you to either. You should concentrate in understanding the why you are confused...... what-which part of this whole thing is disturbing you in the first place is the key to both finding closure to this and to your own suicidal feelings... and father issue.

    reflection ahead for you hun..... none can do it for you but we can help you if you write down your thoughts and reflection process