a collection of my poetry

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by bitheway, Dec 5, 2007.

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  1. bitheway

    bitheway Member

    Sleepless nights
    Endless days
    Long seconds
    Never ending hours
    Always the same
    Torturous soul
    Memories eating away
    All the hope and happiness
    Gone
    In the wind
    A black hole
    Of a soul
    Lost

    Alone
    Trying to find
    My way home
    Invisible
    To friends and foes alike
    Its like I was never here
    Screaming out in pain
    Crying for help
    Will anyone hear me
    Will anyone care enough to help
    The one I love
    Will be there to save me

    Every thought is the same
    Demeaning
    Destructive
    Hurtful
    Ever controlling
    Keeping me up
    Afraid to sleep
    Demons plague my dreams
    Nightmares fill my head
    Trapped
    Imprisoned

    Stuck in a cage
    Banging at the bars
    Screaming to be let out
    Screaming to be free
    I’m innocent I swear
    I didn’t do anything wrong
    Yet here I am
    With shackles on my wrists
    Chains binding me
    Refusing to release their grip

    Pitiful
    Disgraceful
    An embarrassment
    A shame
    Depression hits rock hard
    Coldness surrounds me
    I shiver
    Reach for my blade
    Dragging it across my skin
    Gasping in pain
    I am free
    Free for a moment
    But then the darkness comes back
    And once again I am lost

    My blade is my savior
    For now at least
    Until someone comes along
    Proving her love to me
    Proving that she does care
    Then she will be my savior
    My guardian angel
    My soul mate
    My lover
    But until then
    It’s the blade I depend on
    To stay free

    One day my dream will become true
    One day someone will love me
    Someone will show me the light
    For now though
    Pain is all I feel
    I’m alone
    Invisible
    Lost

    Screaming for help
    Sound lost in the wind
    No one hears
    Crying
    Tears never ending
    Slowly disappearing
    A soul
    Lost for ever
    A life
    Gone
    Thoughts that never end
    Thoughts that destroyed
    So powerful
    They break me
    I crack
    Pressure building
    Becoming too much
    I scream
    It doesn’t end
    Help
    I say
    Help
    I yell

    My cries
    Land on deaf ears
    My scars
    Only visible to the blind
    Crying every night
    But no tears
    Only blood
    Scars
    New and old

    Please forgive me
    I am sorry for being born
    Please forgive me
    For what I have done
    For being an embarrassment
    For being at fault
    For depending on the blade
    But you wouldn’t understand what is going on
    No one can

    I’m lost
    In a world full of people
    Alone
    Surrounded by friends
    Can you see me
    Can you hear me
    Of course not
    The world is blind
    To how society causes pain
    How it makes me feel ashamed
    To be who I am
    To be me
    Making me have a mask
    So I feel normal
    But in reality
    I’m a freak
    Someone who deserves pain
    Suffering
    For eternity
    Now one last cry
    One last call
    For help

    This addiction runs my life
    The blade
    The blood
    Thoughts
    Sorrow
    A world of grief
    Just let it stop
    I wanna be happy
    Happy without the blade
    Please find me


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    Addiction

    It over powers you
    It controls you
    Taking over your mind
    You surrender to its power
    Letting it tell you what to do

    An addiction is something that you have to over come
    Everyone at one point or another has one
    Some are harmful
    Some are not
    Some are healthy
    Some are not
    It depends what you do
    It depends why you do it
    What is you addiction?

    Fighting the addiction
    Not giving in
    Takes so much strength
    Takes so much courage
    Because you have to find other ways
    Other ways to cope
    Other ways to release emotions
    Other ways to relieve stress
    The longer you fight it
    The harder it gets to stay away
    The more will power you have to use
    The more self restraint put in place

    Stop what you are doing
    And take a good look at your life
    What are you addicted to?
    What do you think you wont be able to live with out?


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    Craving

    A voice in my head
    Influencing my thoughts
    Influencing my actions
    Never going away
    Until I act on it
    Until I give up

    A craving to self-harm
    A craving to be in pain
    It’s an addiction
    It’s a problem
    I know that it is bad
    I know that I am sad
    I have so many horrors
    Haunting my mind
    Plaguing my sleep
    Always there

    Craving…
    Only gets worse
    Until I give in
    I try to fight it
    But it’s a losing battle
    I try to stay clean
    I really do
    It just seems impossible
    For me to do

    Craving…
    ‘get the knife’
    The voice always says
    ‘Cut, Cut”
    It goes on and on
    ‘Cut, Cut you will feel better’
    I fall into its trap
    I listen to its incessant commands

    Craving…
    Emotional pain becomes too much
    Relieved with physical pain
    Though I have done stuff so much
    I no longer feel it
    It became a ritual
    Something I do everyday

    Craving…
    I try not to give in
    I try to quit
    Yet I never can
    I can stay clean
    For just a little bit
    And then the slightest sorrow
    Ruins all of it
    It triggers me
    Sets me back to square one

    Craving…
    Everyone had one
    What’s yours


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    Cutting

    A release
    An addiction
    A way to cope
    A way to feel better
    People don’t understand
    The need to self-harm
    The need to cut myself
    I create scars on my body
    Every scar reminding me of something different
    Of some hardship I faced
    No matter how big
    Or how small

    Scars….
    Mark my body
    From head to toe
    Though some aren’t self-inflicted
    Most are….
    The pain helps me focus
    The blood keeps me grounded
    Cutting can cure most anything
    From headaches to flashbacks
    Once I cut they disappear

    The metal blade
    Slices through my skin
    As though it were a piece of paper
    A line of crimson blood
    Follows the path of the blade
    Blood starts to drip down my leg
    I watch the blood
    Transfixed by its beauty
    Relieved as I start to feel my mind clear
    A temporary fix
    To a permanent problem



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    Blood shed from the mass killings of innocents
    Innocents who are hated for being different
    For having different religious points of view
    For having different skin colors
    For something that they cant help
    Mass murders
    Whole villages destroyed
    Families ripped apart
    Children kidnapped and forced to be soldiers
    Taught how to hate at a young age
    Brainwashed to think that they are doing the right thing
    Enslaving adults
    Killing those who disobey you
    Refugee camps filled with villages of people
    Where they don’t have enough food
    Starving to death
    Not knowing if their loved ones are alive or not
    Waiting in line for food,
    Even though there isn’t enough to go around

    War torn countries
    Where peace is rare
    Where the sound of gunshots is common and,
    Explosions are heard in the distance.
    Villages invaded by rebels
    Innocent lives stolen
    Killed by children
    In cold-blood

    Dead bodies litter the area
    Friends and family gone forever
    Never to return
    Looking at the rebels,
    Hearing their laughter and cries of joy
    Watching them celebrate
    Cant believe that they are joyous about death
    Joyous that they are now killers
    That children are celebrating killing
    Celebrating the deaths of people they knew,
    Of friends and family,
    Who they now just killed.


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    I am sitting in the corner
    Curled up in a ball
    Sitting in the shadows
    Where no one can see
    In my hand is a sharp little blade
    Ready to help me feel better.
    Help the pain
    Stop the memories
    The thoughts.
    Help me feel connected
    Not so alone.
    I am always alone though
    My friends don’t really understand whats going on
    I act normally when I am around them
    Happy and at peace
    I am a different person
    So here I am sitting alone once again.
    Looking at my blade and wondering why me.
    Fuck this I give in
    I think over and over.
    Fuck this I deserve pain
    My brain repeats endlessly

    I place the blade
    On my wrist
    Pressing down
    Sliding it across
    Watching the trail of crimson blood
    Make its way
    Out of the wound
    Ouch this stings
    But feels oh so good
    Ouch this stings
    But its what I deserve

    Closing my eyes
    I lean back against the wall
    Feeling my mind relax
    Release all the pain
    Even if only for a few moments
    My mind is free
    For once
    My mind is relaxed
    For once
    The stinging in my arms
    Makes me calm and relaxed
    Looking at me
    You would see a smile upon my face

    I am sharply brought back to reality
    When the stinging stops
    And the blood dries
    I look at the damage
    Sighing
    Yet not regretting it
    I find it beautiful
    In its own way
     
  2. CuriosityWasFramed

    CuriosityWasFramed Well-Known Member

    I loved alot of the short ones at the top. Very clever lines in some of them.

    Only visible to the blind.

    Being my favourite.
     
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