A complete let down.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ConfusedSilence, Jun 8, 2011.

  1. ConfusedSilence

    ConfusedSilence Well-Known Member

    I finally, after weeks of working up the courage and thinking through all of my problems for triggers and descriptions, went to get help today. I went to my school counsellor. We spent almost an hour talking. I told him about my bulimia and self harm. Almost everything.

    I still feel horrific. Don't get me wrong, I was never expecting him to say something and all of my problems to just dissappear, but I feel worse now. I feel like my dignity is gone, I feel weak for not handling this on my own. I feel stupid for even going because my problems seemed so trivial when I said them; and I feel fidgety and nervous and so vulnerable. I spoke to him at about 11 and I'm still terrified that he's told someone and they'll judge me or treat me differently. I'm so scared.

    He asked me to write down a list of things that I like about myself. I've been thinking for 6 hours, and I have 5 things (two of which I'm not sure I believe).

    I thought that you were meant to feel better or the same after this, not worse.
  2. eagle

    eagle Well-Known Member

    It takes some time for what you say to set in. So you won't feel better about it for some time. It might take hours, or days or weeks but it will happen eventually.

    has your counsellor asked you to go back?
  3. ConfusedSilence

    ConfusedSilence Well-Known Member

    Yeah, tomorow. I don't know what I'm going to say.
  4. eagle

    eagle Well-Known Member

    all you can do is be honest with them. tell them whats bothering you. try to work out whats caused all of your problems tonight and talk to them about it tomorrow. It will be hard at first but it does get easier. don't feel bad cos you haven't kept it to yourself, sometimes its better to deal with things with the help of other people
  5. ConfusedSilence

    ConfusedSilence Well-Known Member

    I guess.

  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    well done for reaching out CS..
    I'm glad you're going back..counceling takes time..I hope you stick with it..
    and hey 5 things you like about yourself is ok..
    so many of us struggle with this feeling

    your problems aren't trivial to you so don't feel bad about needing to share them with the councelor..
    remember that old saying " a problem shared is a problem halved" I hope that's the case for you *hug*
  7. xdannox

    xdannox New Member

    Taking that first step is so huge.. I wish I had the courage to do that. 5 things you like about yourself isn't anything to shake a stick at! Some people struggle to come up with 1. The tough part about talking to someone is that you have to trust them. Sometimes, when you feel like all is lost, all you need is a friend to tell you it'll be okay. Try to find strength in that. Keep holding on. You'll be okay. -d-
  8. ConfusedSilence

    ConfusedSilence Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the words guys.
    It's getting better, very slowly, I think.

    CS xxx