Three years ago, as a senior in high school and at my lowest point, I had a really odd experience. I've been wondering for a long time whether something similar has happened to anyone else. At the time, I was contemplating suicide via xxx Although I did not belong to a suicide/depression forum, I was very obsessive about the subject and very often went online just to read about it (taking depressive/suicide screening tests, reading prevention sites, reading pro-suicide sites, looking over suicide notes, skimming through forums). I read about one woman who tried to xxxx. She said that even though she was completely unresponsive, she was still very aware of auditory stimuli. This happened to me a week later: I woke up as a normally would for school but I found that I couldn't move. My senses were very acute (I could distinctly feel my matress below me and my comforter laying heavily upon me. I could hear the water running as my mom showered in the bathroom.) But no matter what, I was completely unresponsive. I tried to sit up, but found I couldn't. I tried to wiggle my fingers, but they wouldn't obey. I tried to open my eyes, but they were glued shut. But regardless of being paralyzed in bed, I didn't feel any fear at all. It was pure relief. And I distictly remembering my first thought that morning to be 'Oh, thank god. I finally got the balls to overdose.' So I laid there for about 10 minutes, genuinely thinking that I was dying, and peacefully listened as my mother finished her shower, went off to kitchen (and seeing I was there), came back to my room to yell at me. It wasn't until then that it even crossed my mind that dying was supposed to be a horrible experience. My mother's voice, and the thought of her finding me half-dead, startled me out of my paralysis in an instant and I jumped out of bed like it was on fire. I was very, very disturbed by this because it gave me insight that I didn't think death was as scary as I thought I did. Is an enlightening moment like this unusual, or has anyone else had this?