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A double life

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by shinebrighter, Feb 2, 2013.

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  1. shinebrighter

    shinebrighter New Member

    I feel like i live a double life. I have so many secrets. And im shutting so many people out because I refuse to tell anyone. Im in so much pain and feel completely worthless. I feel homesick for a place ive never been before. I always feel like I need to escape. I blame where I am, but its really just me. I choose to avoid responsibility and real life situations with drugs and alcohol. Im depressed, my anxiety is through the roof, and i need to go to the doctor and change my medicine but i have no money. And i dont want to tell my parents that. I feel like a complete failure. I dont think i could ever kill myself, but i just feel that peoples lives would be better without me. I just feel like im always fucking up and making mistakes and its hurting so many people. I honestly dont know what to do and feel so alone, that no one arounds me understands AT ALL what im going through or how i truly feel.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun glad you are talking here as we do understand the self medication the negative talk hun You hun do deserve help ok and you need it Instead of getting alcohol and drugs with your money hun use that money to get you the proper medication to help you heal. Talk to you doctor to get you into a treatment to get you off the alcohol and other substances you are abusing You reached o ut here hun that is good now you know you are not alone ok now reach out again hun and again until you get the support you need from your doctor for a councilor from your family get help don't try to fight this alone not when you don't have to h ugs
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    sorry you are in so much pain. Are you in school? And if so, do you think you could talk with the school counseller? You say you are doing drugs and alcohol to try to keep the pain away. So many people do that. But sadly, it makes the pain worse. I am wondering if you might be interested in checking out a program like AA or NA . some people find amazing amounts of support there. People who know exacly how you feel. Because they feel the same way. So people find that for the first time, they are not alone. These are just thoughts. Maybe one of the thoughts or suggestions sounds like something you might want to check out. Glad you are posting here. Being part of this community and posting is a great thing to do. I hope you will post lots more !
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I think because we always want to hide mental illness for fear of what people will think, we put on this happy face and make the world believe what we want to believe, when in reality we are dying inside. If you are depressed, which it sounds like you are, drugs and alcohol are only going to make it worse as they are depressants. I know reality can be a bitch and can be harsh but drugs and alcohol make you feel far worse in the long run and is not the answer. You need to confide in your parents, or speak to your doctor at the very least, there must be some arrangement you can come to regarding meds/therapy and payment. Drugs companies tend to do schemes where you can get the drugs either for free or at a very reduced rate.
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