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a failure

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#1
it was about two years ago... February of 2009...
i didn't know what i was doing. i was overwrought with grief over something i barely remember... someone had attacked me, pushed me down the stairs at school. called me "dyke-cat-freak". i kind of wish the fall had hurt me more. there aren't any cameras at the stairs in my school, so no one found out who did it and no one really believed me after a while.
and so i decided that it was too dangerous for me anywhere and i tried to xxxxxxxxxx.

i didn't know it at the time, but it was one of those cheap, xxxxxxxx. so it broke after a few seconds...
when i fell i peed myself and had begun to heave and cough.
no one ever really knew about it, but i felt kind of disgusted with myself.
why would i do such a thing over someone so stupid...i kept asking, but the same answer kept coming back. this was the last straw, that was why.

but i lived.
and i'm not really sure why, but i felt a bit stronger after that
 
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Nima

Well-Known Member
#3
Well Adesu maybe God wasn't ready for you to come to him just yet. We are here to help you please keep an open mind
 
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