A father lost

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by nhunt, Oct 6, 2010.

  1. nhunt

    nhunt Member

    Last summer my father died from a heart attack. It wasn't expected. At all. No one was home when it happened, I was supposed to be. A divorced father alone at home, thinking of ways to get himself out of debts and still pay for my brother's expensive college. It's guilt I feel. Had I been there, maybe I could've saved him. Had I given him less stress then he wouldn't have had a heart attack. I should've apologized, should have said sorry for everything. Should have told him I loved him. But i didn't and now I'm too late. The death of my father hangs over my family like a vast endless stretch of cloud. My mother is falling apart, and in turn so am I.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you lost your Dad ......:hugtackles:
    part of the grieving process is the 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' 'should've, would've and could've......
    I'm sure your Dad knew you loved him....he wouldn't want you beating yourself up ...
    don't blame yourself for not being home..You couldn't be with him every minute of every day...
    take good care of yourself...grief is exhausting...
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Heart attack that is a physical a medical problem you being there 24 hrs a day would not have help Your father would not want you sad Do something in memory of your dad keeping the happy times alive okay In time the pain does lessen it will Just remember he would only want you to get out and live life to it fullest okay take care