A few firsts have gotten me low.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by tori is a bird, Sep 2, 2010.

  1. So, its the day before your 8 month anniversary. Everything's fine. Yeah, he's been kind of distant and quiet lately, but he does that sometimes. Its not even as bad as it has been before. You've never been in love before him. Never even experienced attraction like this before, because you're asexual and you don't get the concept of physical attraction. You're insanely attracted to his personality. He's perfect for you, even though you have to look around some of those flaws. You're in love, living together, making plans about the future.

    Then he makes a joke that you should take a break. You go along, laughing and joking about it all day. Then he says he was kind of serious, that he has to do things that way. That we really are taking a break. But really, he hates the way that sounds. So you're broken up. He asks if you're okay. He asks if you're mad

    But really, you don't know what to feel. Because this has never happened before. You've never been in love before him. You've never lived with anyone before him. You've never been the one who was broken up with before him. And everything had been fine just the night before. It was completely unexpected.

    Now, a week later, you're still drowning in it. And he just seems relieved. He seems like he's forgotten about you. Acts like the two of you HAVEN'T been living together for the past eight months. Like you HAVEN'T slept in the same bed, curled together, almost every single night since back in January.

    ...

    What do I do? I've never EVER been the one to get down about a relationship. I feel so STUPID. And rather worthless. And completely insignificant and unimportant to the entire world. I used to look disdainfully upon people who were all upset by relationships that ended. I've always had the "another fish in the sea" mentality. But its like I don't know how to function without knowing I'm important enough to someone that I'm the first thought when they wake up. That I'm important enough that they wrap their arm around me at night so I don't sleep walk. One breath I'm fine with this, the next I don't even remember how to breathe.

    What do I do? Time heals all wounds, right? How to I keep breathing being so insignificant and unimportant?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not insignificant or unimportant You need to get out and start living for you now Meet new people join new groups new activities and show him you are strong you are important and you do matter. Show him what he is missing get out okay It is his loss not yours you have to just know that and start looking for someone who doesn't need a break from you okay look for someone who wants to be with you and care for you no matter what. It is a loss a grieving process in a way because for you he is dead now for you his love is over you need to find a new love okay you will and he will be sorry he ever hurt you like that take care of YOU okay
     
  3. Oh GOD. Thank you. Very much. These are things I need to hear. These are things I usually tell people. But everyone just keeps asking me if I'm okay and I have to say yes because I don't want him to know how much this has affected me. Because then word will get out that I'm some crazy ex, haha.