Feeling desperately depressed, all the time. My life feels like it's going nowhere fast and everyone else I know is getting everything they want, so easily. Let me explain about the many reasons I'm suicidal. First: I have been struggling with my sexual orientation since I was 13. The town I grew up in is not exactly the most enlightened of places and my mother is the most homophobic person I have ever met. I constantly have to hide who I am from my family and this constantly causes me distress. Second: Let me be clear, I'm not being big headed here, I am a genius. Because I was always so much cleverer than the rest of my class at school I got so used to never even trying and still getting the top grades. When it came to GCSEs I got 15 A grades without even trying. At A Level, I carried on with the attitude of not trying. Where I promptly failed. This was really where my depression definitely got worse. This was my first real attempt at suicide. I changed school and tried again. And failed again. Not being used to failure I didn't really know how to handle this. This was the second time I attempted suicide. I tried again and finally passed. I went to university. And failed. Tried again. And failed again. My friends, which are not as intelligent as me, are all passing University without even trying, which makes me feel like crap. I gave up and figured, third time lucky. It didn't work, which sent me into an even more suicidal tailspin. Third: I'm unemployed, which sucks. I apply for every job I can possibly do and never even get an interview. My friends all get jobs falling into their laps, whenever they want them. Fourth: I haven't had a relationship in 7 years and can't find anyone interested in me. Can't even have a one night stand. So overall, everything in my life is crap. Nothing works. And I hate myself more and more each day and constantly feel like ending it all. I just needed somewhere to "talk" and this seemed the best place.