Over the last several years people have told me that I should not harm myself because of the effect it will have on those around me. I have also heard that suicide is a selfish act. Is it not also selfish for the people around me to want me to continue to live if I am in pain just so that they wont have to grieve? I have tried. I have sought help. I have tried medication. All of these have been temporary solutions. No matter what I do or how great I feel for a short time I always end up in the same place. The thoughts pop into my head and wont go away. I feel like crying yet am unable to. I feel like going away and never coming back. I go through life with a decent job, a great partner, good friends and yet I am not fulfilled. I look around at people I work with, people I see on the street, people I see in cars around me and I wonder why I should continue to go on when there are other people who will take my place when I go away. Anyway, that is what I am thinking right now. I don’t see the purpose of continuing to go on just to keep other people from suffering. I still have a several things to think about and things to do but again I don’t see the purpose of continuing to take up space and breathe.