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A few thoughts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DownwardSpiral, Jan 7, 2008.

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  1. DownwardSpiral

    DownwardSpiral Well-Known Member

    Over the last several years people have told me that I should not harm myself because of the effect it will have on those around me. I have also heard that suicide is a selfish act. Is it not also selfish for the people around me to want me to continue to live if I am in pain just so that they wont have to grieve? I have tried. I have sought help. I have tried medication. All of these have been temporary solutions. No matter what I do or how great I feel for a short time I always end up in the same place. The thoughts pop into my head and wont go away. I feel like crying yet am unable to. I feel like going away and never coming back. I go through life with a decent job, a great partner, good friends and yet I am not fulfilled. I look around at people I work with, people I see on the street, people I see in cars around me and I wonder why I should continue to go on when there are other people who will take my place when I go away.

    Anyway, that is what I am thinking right now. I don’t see the purpose of continuing to go on just to keep other people from suffering. I still have a several things to think about and things to do but again I don’t see the purpose of continuing to take up space and breathe.
  2. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    That's exactly how I view it. I don't encourage others to commit suicide, but I do understand what you're saying. We have to live for otherselves, not just for others. And if we're that unhappy in/with ourselves that we don't want to live then it should our choice to make.

    We didn't ask to be born into this world, and most people don't ask to be taken from it. But if we want to then we should be able to and not have people trying to emotionally blackmail us into staying just for their benefit.

    I understand what it would be like if someone you really cared for died (no matter what the method), which is why when we make a choice such a suicide, it should be done over time and what we truely want. I'm sure in time the people we leave behind will understand why we left and forgive us.
  3. ItsAHardRain

    ItsAHardRain Member

    Medication didn't help me either, but St John's wort did. It didn't fix me, but it was a big help, it brought some sunshine back into my head.

    When the medication doesn't work, seek out other things. There's so much out there that COULD help you, and it's not fair that you feel this way, but keep trying. There are so many other kinds of doctors out there, so many kinds of therapies that could work for you. (naturopaths, chinese doctors (acupuncture and herbs), herbalists, nutritionists, polarity therapists, etc.)

    Sometimes with depression it's all about the brain chemicals, and you take a pill and you feel better. For me it was so multifaceted. Spiritual seeking, consuming foods that were contributing to me feeling poorly (dairy especially), nutritional deficiencies, lack of sunshine, lack of nature, lack of SUPPORT, lack of creativity and spirit in my life. So I've spent many years working on all these things, trying to find the things that make me feel better, basically trying to create a life for myself, having to rewrite my own script, even my own mental script. Even down to silly sounding things like wearing different colors, every little thing we're surrounded by, every thing we think about, it effects how we feel, how we see the world, and even, how people see us.

    I write everything down, and I counsel myself oftentimes. I also talk with somebody who provides a good ear. when bad emotions overcome you, you just gotta ride em out. They'll change.

    Just don't give up, it's not fair to others, but it's especially not fair to yourself. There's still so much out there to try. And maybe like me, you'll find things along the way that DO bring you great joy. Just keep trying.
  4. ItsAHardRain

    ItsAHardRain Member

    Oh, and there's lots of people who believe that we CHOOSE to be born, in the exact circumstances we're born into. Crazy thought, I know.
  5. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    That's one of the stupiest things I've ever heard. o_O How can you choose to be born if you're not alive/consious to choose anything!?

  6. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    I would have chosen to be taller, and not luv the taste of chocolate.
  7. ItsAHardRain

    ItsAHardRain Member

  8. Perishable

    Perishable Well-Known Member

    Oh god. Damn unwanted temptation. :tongue:

    I have been thinking the say way you have, except in a lot more of a malicious style.
    Im going to try taking my perception on the world as a dreaded orb into this sphere of positive...and progressiveness.

    Perhaps you should try it to. I dont know if you understand what I mean by that though? :dry:
    I'm not the one for explainations.
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