A Forbidden Moment

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by bobo, Sep 7, 2007.

  1. bobo

    bobo Member

    I just noticed this section on SF and how fitting right now. I was away last week back where I used to live. I got into bad habits which included drinking again and eventually a half ass suicide attempt. Right before that attempt, the night before, I did something else.

    I spent the night with a man that I have respect for. He has been a counselor to me and a spiritural guide. I know it was wrong, but I didnt stop it. He is a Pastor, married with children. Yes I knew that. I am sure some reading are calling me all sort of names. That is your right, but I am not posting here on the married judgement thing. My issue is, what if he was single. Would it be wrong to get involved with a Pastor who has counseled me? I am not sure what to do with the relationship but its on hold as we are in two different states anyways. I dont see a future and am OK with it did raise feelings.
  2. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Aside from the married thing (which is a personal moral judgement call) it is wrong to sleep with him. But he is the one who is in the wrong... he should be holding the boundaries which are necessary to all theraputic relationships, both during and after the counselling. Doesn't seem like a good person to me. :dry:
  3. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    agreed ... the fault lies with the pastor..
    2pastor represents God and a higher level of living
    3 the most offensive part is what he did by having sex or any romantic interactions is just wrong on many levels... moral ones aside...
    for a mentor/therapist/counselor to have relationships with the "receiver of the counselling" is equal to that of and adult/child abuse situation.. because we become like children in the area of Vulnerability that it is UNLAWFUL... and he should know better

    in the psyciatric world if two ppl want to "hook up" the patient has to see some else and they MUST wait one year.. that is the law here in the states... and even so it is very frowned upon...
    I pass no judgement on you or him as a man of God he has someone much larger than i to contend with..

    but for you.. please seek help and counselling some where else... he has crossed the line and can nolonger be of service to you... hugs..
  4. SueEisman

    SueEisman Member

    I might keep his as a friend but not as a therapist. He should have kept it professional. Maybe he could refer you to someone else?

    Good luck.

  5. SueEisman

    SueEisman Member

    It's not law in all states. It's a thorny but horny issue....not illegal.

  6. mad hatter

    mad hatter Active Member

    it sounds like this person has taken advantage of you
    i agree with the others you were not in the wrong