I'm a fraud, I shouldn't be here I'm not going to have the courage to end it, even after she dies Unless I get intoxicated or high with something first, but its still such a scary thought. I don't want to die, but I don't think I can do this, continue on. How do I go on, and go on alone? And now go on alone and in pain? The unknown is scary, do I have that strength for life or death? I'm in a bad way tonight. Alone, scared. But still a fraud, I believe.