I had coffee with a friend yesterday and I am worried about him. We aren't extremely close but we have shared some very personal information. AMong those things are that he suffers from deep recurrent depression and that I have bipolar disorder. He is in the midst of a bad depression right now... on the verge of tears all the time. He says he spends a lot of time thinking about how suicide is the only solution to this suffering he has to endure. The depression never goes far and it hits him so very hard. He looks ahead and sees years of depression and suffering. With the average life expectancy he can look forward to maybe another 50+ yrs of hell. For myself, I am in a crisis emotionally. My husband has been abusive in the past and I am desperate to find a way out of the emotional pain I am in. Leaving isn't an option. My worry is two fold... I can't lie to him. I can't tell him that there is another solution. I know from experience that meds are hit and miss at best... they often don't work or stop working as well as come with a host of unwelcome side effects. He has already been on medication. So, I am worried for him... that he might kill himself because he can't stand the thought of a life of this pain. My other worry is for me. I can't help it.. I agree with him in so many ways. Not because I face the same degree of depression, but because I know that I face a life of instability and emotional confusion. I don't see a lot of solutions for a happy life. WHat I see is a life of marginality, poverty and social isolation. I will always be suffering in one form or another. I can get by in life each day without anyone noticing i have trouble. I can act confident and fun loving. "I have everything going for me." But inside I am in pain so often. I can move through social situations but I don't really understand them. I can't seem to interpret how people interact. I end up feeling frustrated, unloved and isolated, even among people. I have real trouble stringing life together in any real meaningful way. That won't change with meds or therapy. You can teach a person new skills. You can help them relearn patterns, etc. What you can't do is make them feel. You can't give them missing links. You can't make the world work in a way that works for them. So... I sit contemplating my friend's question. I just don't know what to say or what to think. I think he is deep water, and I know I am. No, I am not sucidal... meaning I am not in any immediate danger. I am just trying to find reasons to fight off these feelings and maybe help my friend do the same. Thanks for listening.