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A friend is in danger

-L-

Well-Known Member
#1
A friend is in danger, she is planning a suicide and will carry it out next month.

I can't do anything, I don't know her in person, I only know her first name, her age and the city where she lives, and her discord account. I have called the police in my country, the police in your country, the phone against suicide etc ... and with so little information, they can't do anything. I can't get any more information from her as she knows she would use it to stop her.

Besides, she is serious, she is planning every detail of her suicide, the date etc ...

I have been talking to her daily in discord for months, I just can't accept it, I can't do anything, what am I supposed to do? Do you keep talking to her as if nothing happened knowing what will happen in a month?

This multiplies my suicidal thoughts by a thousand as well.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Is she a member on here @-L- ? I'm sorry you're feeling so much pressure but you shouldn't have to cope with something like this on your own. Can you try to encourage your friend to come here if she's not already a member, or to post on the forums if she is?
 

-L-

Well-Known Member
#3
She is not a member of this forum, I have called the UK police again, they have put me with a Spanish translator so it has been much easier.

I have given them the little information that I have about this person, and their discord account, they have told me that if I have reported in discord, it is very possible that they can locate her.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
You are a good friend @-L- but you shouldn't have to take on the responsibility all by yourself. Keep posting here so we can try to support you as well.
 

-L-

Well-Known Member
#5
You are a good friend @-L- but you shouldn't have to take on the responsibility all by yourself. Keep posting here so we can try to support you as well.
She hasn't told anyone else, if I don't try to help her, no one will.

Thank you, if any news I will publish it here.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#6
The only help you can realistically give @-L- is to do everything you can to persuade her to tell someone "in real life" what she's thinking and feeling, someone who can actually give her the real-life practical help she needs. It's very stressful for you I know, but you are limited in what you can actually do since you don't know her exact location, name, or anyone close to her.
 

-L-

Well-Known Member
#7
The only help you can realistically give @-L- is to do everything you can to persuade her to tell someone "in real life" what she's thinking and feeling, someone who can actually give her the real-life practical help she needs. It's very stressful for you I know, but you are limited in what you can actually do since you don't know her exact location, name, or anyone close to her.
I've tried, it's impossible, I don't know what to do
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#8
If she chooses not to tell anyone who could help her get the real life support she needs, I'm afraid there isn't anything you or anyone else can do @-L- . It's sad, but you did the best anyone in your position could do. Bear in mind also that a lot of people don't actually go through with suicide when it comes to it. The fact that she is talking to you at all about her suicidal thoughts means that she is reaching out for help. I think you should just keep emphasizing that you really want to help her, but you can't give her the real life help she needs
 
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-L-

Well-Known Member
#9
If she chooses not to tell anyone who could help her get the real life support she needs, I'm afraid there isn't anything you or anyone else can do @-L- . It's sad, but you did the best anyone in your position could do. Bear in mind also that a lot of people don't actually go through with suicide when it comes to it. The fact that she is talking to you at all about her suicidal thoughts means that she is reaching out for help. I think you should just keep emphasizing that you really want to help her, but you can't give her the real life help she needs
She is planning it in detail, even her funeral, everything, is not attracting attention. I have no way of obtaining details such as his full name or his exact age of birth.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#10
You can't force her to ask for the real life help she actually needs. If she's rejecting all your suggestions and advice, and you are finding the stress of it all affecting your own mental health, I think it's time to think about letting go. You could tell her you will be there for her when she seeks real life help, but you obviously can't give her that over the internet, and because you're not qualified. Peer support can only go so far and isn't a substitute for the professional medical or other help she needs.
 
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#11
Sorry that this is happening @-L-

I agree with @Lara_C that encouraging her to come here might help, and that you're being a good friend.

I also agree that accepting the possibility of her making a suicide attempt may be helpful. I know acceptance may be hard, but it would not only make you better off, it would also put you in a better position to help her.

I think the reason that count-downs aren't allowed on SF is exactly what you're going through now, feeling like you're responsible for defusing a ticking time-bomb. Ultimately, what she does is her own responsibility, and you can really only try to offer some support.

You might want to ask in "I Have A Question" about the psychology of count-downs. In principle, I could see taking on the role of feeling responsible for stopping someone else's attempt as being something that could make them more likely to make an attempt, not less.
 

-L-

Well-Known Member
#12
Investigating a bit about her, I have seen that she is also registered in this forum, she is a user of this forum although she has not connected for a long time.

Can it be located with that account?
 

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