a friend of mine is getting bullied

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by tip, Apr 29, 2006.

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  1. tip

    tip Guest

    recently at uni, even though the years nearly up, a friend of mine has kinda been getting bullied by some other guys.

    the guys are pussys, am not afraid of them they only bully him because he wont say anything back.

    Me and the guy being bullied aren't really that close(its like a school-work related friendship), I gravitated towards him because he was a loner and kinda weird (like really slow and dopey). But I always make these friends because I am really scared of rejection by the cool people, so I don't try to make friends with them, that way I still have my dignity.

    Anyway I've seen him get bullied like them make fun of him and mess about with him,nothing physical it seems all fun and games. I'm cool with one of that group but the rest I don't know.

    basically my dilemma is should I get involved and tell them to stop? Or am I just trying to be a hero, and should I just ignore it and tell him to ignore it. Possible repurcussions can only be they start bullying me (im not worried I can handle them), something physical dunno what else.

    I just don't want to seem like I'm sticking my oar in and just doing it to look like a big man, but I just think its not fair him being bullied - most people make fun of him because of his slowness, I admit I have but only in a joking way, but this I see as a step further than that, as its to his face and I can tell it upsets him.

    thnxs for any help
  2. twilightki

    twilightki Well-Known Member

    If it bothers you, then stand up for the poor guy, no one else is.
  3. goop

    goop Active Member

    jail bait.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2006
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Confront this friend about it... tell him he is better than that... tell him geez I don't know.... encourage him make him want to say something back... that way you are not a hero you are just a friend.
  5. Tell your friend to fight back. If he cant stand up for himself, then who the hell will?
  6. Mio

    Mio Well-Known Member

    hey :)
    Almost all classmates either hated me or despised me... or just jeered at me (until I began to study at high school). At that time I had 2 friends. And one day all guys and girls decided that they didn't want to talk to me anymore (some of them were going to do some phisical harm...but fortunately they only were going to do it but didn't do). And I thought that those 2 friends were with them, but they encouraged me and one of them said: "If anyone even touch you, I'll kill them all!" Of course, she wouldn't kill anybody ;), but those words made me feel very strong, because my friends were with me. I just knew that they loved me and it was really helpful. So, I suppose, you should show your friend that you're WITH him. It should be helpful, I guess. And if those guys won't stop "joking" that way, I think you should do something. Anyway, it's only my opinion and please do what you think will be better to do. Sometimes it's better to ignore and sometimes it's better to tell something back. It depends. And it's up to you (I do not know those guys and don't know who they are and if they can do harm to you), so it's your decision. But the main thing I think is to show your friend that he isn't alone.
    Take care:)
  7. thecasualties

    thecasualties New Member

    Noone deserves any crap from some douches who think they're tough in a gang. Tell him to start working out and to get confidence. If he gets confidence he can fight back, maybe even beat them up. Tell him to get some of his friends together and gang beat some of the guys one by one while they're alone when they expect to fight in a group.
  8. derek14

    derek14 Member

    i think you should help him gain confidence to fight back at them. However if it gets physical i think you a few others should pop in and show them whats up.
  9. thekarlmarx

    thekarlmarx Member

    Normally there is a reason behind the bullying, If you understand why you can sometimes find a weakness. Nonetheless ask the person if they want help, sometimes they may say no and it is clear they want help, nonetheless if they are in distress I would stand up to them, I have done this in the past although it has often led to further isolation and rejection of me. For instance in one so called "educational establishment" that will not be named, I defended someone who was treated harshly, their motive was based on the accusation of him being homosexual, the ring leader who started this was a good friend of mine.

    I soon was angered at his motive even if they were true, which I strongly doubt. I believe that it was used as an excuse to alienate and distance the guy, an easy target. The anger grew at the groups further actions with this guy and other people, it climaxed in me confronting the leader of our group, who was a friend I could stand the bullying no more, I lost a lot of credibility and was accused of being a snake. I was no longer in with the crowd I cannot abide victimisation and I was pleased I sacrificed me being in the group, the victim who they bullied soon became my best mate, however I was soon to learn he was to abandon me.

    I did the right thing, I stood up to the mob I sacrificed my status, or credibility to the gang/group. But I do not regret doing it I did the right thing, henceforth I always defend the vulnerable, and I coast joining any sort of group.

    If It is just a joke, it is only a joke if the jokee finds it funny, I would not act until you talk to the victim and get a complete picture before committing to anything then you can act in the right manner.
  10. reverse

    reverse Guest

    Stick up for him. Be the bigger person.
  11. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't hesitate knocking the shit out of them.
  12. Acetaminophen

    Acetaminophen Well-Known Member

    The best thing is to show him that there is someone who appreciates him . .
    well you can't really do anything about people who won't listen so it's no use to make them stop . .
    But there is a chance where when he gets bullied he can just say . ."bah whaeva, been there heard that . . "
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