a friend saw my scars today

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by PiecesMended, Oct 22, 2010.

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  1. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    I was in biology and because I'd left in a rush in the morning I hadnt put any wrist bands on. I was talking to him during lesson and I think I pointed at something on the paper or something and my sleeve got pulled up and he saw them.
    This was an embarrasing day even though he handled it really well. He tried to get me to talk to him about it without pushing too much. He did this because he cares obviously but now I feel really guilty because I had the nerve to dare ask him why he gave a shit anyways. He didn't take offence to this though, he just said it was because I'm his friend and he cares and he gave me a hug.
    I feel really guilty because I've let everyone down as usual and I feel so vunerable now. I don't even know why I'm posting this as there isn't really anything anyone can say about it. I'm just feeling very upset over it right now because I'm such a selfish idiot.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is so difficult to be revealed, that we confuse those uncomfortable feelings with so many others...you are worthy of his concern, and it does sound genuine...please know you are cared about and valued...J
     
  3. clouds

    clouds Well-Known Member

    Its a gut wrenchingly horrid moment when someone sees those scars you've kept to yourself; I think it feels like being stripped and left naked and open to critism from anyone.Though it does sound like your friend does genuinely care and he didnt freak out which is good.. I look upon my self harming as my guilty secret which makes me feel selfish and vulnerable> Yet its a choice we make for ourselves and peole just have to accept that
     
  4. Tane

    Tane Active Member

    It's the equivalent of someone seeing into your brain. You think that it changes that person's perspective of you has changed forever.
     
  5. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    This is always a terrible moment, as it can make things very uncomfortable, and I always feel so vulnerable to that person. However, it sounds as though he is a genuine friend, and he handled it very well, definitely better than most people.

    But you haven't let anyone down, and you're not a selfish idiot at all. This is your personal battle, and you are entitled to it. However, I think it's good that he knows now, as he really cares about you and sounds as though he'll help you anyway he can. It can often help to have a friend to talk to, someone who knows you well.

    I hope things go ok, and you don't push him away now. As tempting as that may be, that would be selfish, as all he wants is to be your friend.

    Mim
     
  6. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    As terrible as all of this is for you, well was, you now have somebody you can talk to about all of this that you know won't judge you. They seem incredibly genuine. Most people would just not know what to do or how to handle it, freak out and start freakin' out, calling you whatever comes into their mind because they can't understand at all what's going on. This person seems like they'll be able to help you out if you let them. While I personally wouldn't ever let my whole guard down again, it might be worth taking the chance to talk to them about what's going on. It's always helpful to have a close friend that you know you can talk to about anything.

    Take care.
     
  7. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    Thank you to everyone who replied. It made me feel a little better. I'm trying not to push him away but it's hard because thats what I want to do. I'm going to be seeing him next week during our half-term, I wasn't going to but I would really hate myself if I lost such a good friend just because I was feeling vunerable. He said that the next time I want to do it I should call him and he'll try his best to talk to me untill the feeling passes. I will proberbly do this but I don't want to burden him or call so often that I get on his nerves though.
    Thank you for all the advice I really appreciate it. :smile:
     
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