A Gloomy Sunday for Me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by clairedelune, Nov 20, 2010.

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  1. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    I woke up on a Sunday. And for the first time, I feel like I'm finally wanting to let go. So, I just held the knife wanting to finish everything. But it seems that I just couldn't do it. I'm afraid that if I fail the attempt, I do not know what could happen next. It could be a humiliation to me. Because no one actually knows that I'm suicidal. So, I want something that could assure me of my death. But if slowly doing it would do, then it'll be just as fine.
     
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    things could get a lot better if you got into therapy, got some treatment.

    don't know if the people around you would support you if they knew you were suicidal, but it's impossible to help someone if you don't know that something is wrong.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    the sadness is also a cycle tomorrow you may feel different
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Please don't hurt yourself with that knife Cheryl. Bleeding to death is an awful way to go. Have you tried therapy yet?
     
  5. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    I'm ashamed of letting them know. So I better just keep it to myself for a while. Thanks. :IrishDoll:
     
  6. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Yes, I'll count on that. Thank you. :smile:
     
  7. dartofabaris

    dartofabaris Well-Known Member

    Hey Cheryl; I hate it when that happens on a Sunday. it's both hard and easy to let go of everything. Not giving a care because it seems no one else seems to care about you. But the very fact that you'r concerned about how people you hold in your inner circle of trust would view you if this closely guarded secret of yours was ever to come out, means that you subconsciously care about their feelings and how they see you. You'r probably convinced you need something that assures you an permanent escape atm; but what you really want is a much more desirable life. Look around you, everything changes..even these depressive moods which incite self harm. I know you want to get out of this loop too. Im sorry the hershey bar hasnt helped all that much :p ; what's hurting you?

    Pm me whenever and if ever you want to open up.
     
  8. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    well, you can talk to us about what's wrong if you like!

    :)
     
  9. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Dave. I haven't tried therapy because if I do, I'm afraid someone would find out. You see, when I'm around people I don't usually show that I'm sad and all. I always fake most things never giving them a hint that I'm already bummed out. :sad:
     
  10. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    idk if Im much help, but.. maybe ur just impulsive.. maybe just take some time.. and maybe you need to see someone about letting yourself be expressed and not feeling like you have to hide all the time.. trying to work on being less isolated inside maybe..
     
  11. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Yeah, probably I just have to appreciate things and be happy once in a while. The problem is I don't know who to confide in. I've been having trust issues and I'm afraid they just won't understand. Thank you for the help. :smile:
     
  12. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    A lot of people here are pretty understanding.. A lot of them like to listen and try and help out too.. It just takes a bit of courage to get out there.. and I know it can be difficult..
     
  13. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Thanks for that thought Swift. Yeah, I've already met some understanding people and you have just been one of them. :)
     
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