A heart that isn't real

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by necrodude, Sep 16, 2009.

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  1. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    i just wrote this so it might suck.

    You never saw the small things,
    even now you still dont see,
    of all the things i've given you,
    the best of which was me...

    "what have you done now?"
    "what's the point of it?"
    you've taken all i have,
    and i'm about to hit...

    rock bottom is my heaven,
    and your heart is my hell,
    of all the pain i've suffered,
    i think the heartache's swell!

    you've given me a smile,
    to cover broken hearts,
    since you took a while,
    i gathered all the parts,

    now i've made a new shape,
    one that you can't feel,
    and you can never break,
    a heart that isn't real.
     
  2. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    i cant delete this can i?
     
  3. AlexDanish

    AlexDanish Account Closed

    It's a great poem, I can definately relate to the "you never saw the small things." part.
     
  4. Trance

    Trance Well-Known Member

    It's very nice. ^_^. I can relate on many levels.
     
  5. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    um thanks :) but it does suck... couldnt "feel" it all you know
     
  6. Trance

    Trance Well-Known Member

    I understand....sometimes i think my writing sucks as well while someone else just loves it. I think all writers are a little hard on themselves ^_^
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think it is an excellent poem very well written and insightful. great job
     
  8. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    i like it. i just dont think i did a good job of it.
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I like it :) Thanks for sharing
     
  10. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

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