I feel like a joke of a man. Damn near 26.....never had a long time job never been involved with women...hell never even kissed a woman.....never felt self worth ....always been fighting myself inside and never been at peace with myself. Theres freakin 16 year olds who are more mature and sorted than I f**kin am. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH the humiliation (sry) I want to die but am too afraid to die. I want help from god but he wont come and help me or visit me at all. I would have been a healthy young man with charisma and sanity if it wasnt for me getting traumatized somewhere along the line from a child (god knows when but must've happened). Thats what makes the whole thing so f**ked up I should be a regular happy man but I'm a prisoner in my own mind for no apparent reason. F**KIN SUCKS! but i'd rather die now as who I am and possibly tell the good lord I was dealt an unfair hand to perhaps get a second chance or I could carry on and be a nobody and still be on this forum saying I'm gonna kill myself when i'm freakin 50 or something lol. Thx for readin just had to vent.