A lesson I will never forget

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by aimlessdrifter, Jun 23, 2012.

  1. aimlessdrifter

    aimlessdrifter Well-Known Member

    This incident happened a year ago.I was suffering from a painful health condition called peripheral neuropathy.I almost wanted to kill myself because of the severe pain.During that period I met an old man online.He was very affectionate to me.He listened to my problems.He was a source of comfort during that tough phase.I got addicted to talking to him.We bonded very well.He was very sweet and used to shower me with compliments.He behaved like a thorough gentleman.He was very wise.But one fine day he suddenly stopped communicating to me.I didn't understand what happened.I sent him many emails and messages but he didn't respond.I missed him a lot.I cried like hell for about a month and was very depressed.We chatted for exactly one month.He used to say things like, you are a very special friend, I will never ditch you blah blah.He did not have the courtesy to respond to my messages.I was badly hurt.I researched about this man myself using his email id.The truth came to light.He is a lunatic man who likes to chat with random women.He uses the same lines on all the women.I have seen the proof online with my own eyes.I must tell you he is a very good actor.After knowing the truth I was relieved.I felt thankful to God.This experience was a real eye opener for me.The lesson I have learned from this is: Don't hold attachment to people you meet online, they are not permanent, they will come and go. Even if someone is really genuine, just enjoy the moments you spend with them but don't expect them to be there for you forever.Cherish the moments and move on.This way you won't end up hurting yourself.
  2. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    This lesson applies to people you meet in real life too, though... anybody can lie about who they are. I can't tell you how many people I've known who got into relationships with people (real offline relationships), only to find out years later that the person they're with had a dark past or was using them the whole time, or something along those lines.

    I know this is a bad example because I'm not happy in my marriage, but I originally met my wife online. Neither one of us lied about who we were, things just didn't work out in the end. It's true that people can lie and that you won't always share the same chemistry with someone in person, but ultimately it doesn't matter how or where you meet someone - you always have to be careful. Trust has to be earned in any relationship, it is not something to be given freely.
  3. aimlessdrifter

    aimlessdrifter Well-Known Member

    Yeah, you're right.
  4. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    I am sorry that you were deceived. You've just got to take care of yourself and keep your heart a little guarded sometimes. Hopefully you will meet more genuine people in the future. They do exist, both online and off. You know that you're genuine, right? And I know that I'm genuine. And I'm sure a lot of people here are honest about who they are. There will always be bad apples in the world, but you made a good point about cherishing the moments you have with good people. Even the friendships I've had in real life haven't been permanent... every friend I've ever had has left my life for one reason or another. Enjoy what you have while you have it, but don't expect anything to last forever, because nothing ever does - life is fleeting. One day we will all be gone.
  5. aimlessdrifter

    aimlessdrifter Well-Known Member

    Thank you:smile-new:
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    That is terrible and I am quite sorry for that experience. I have also had several friends on the internet and whom several have actually not been "fake", but rather dumped me instead. They will just stop talking or even remove/block me altogether from Facebook, Skype, etc.

    Its painful everytime it happens, it never gets better for me. I am especially very sensitive to rejection. But you are right, these relationships are mostly easy-come and easy-go. I guess I get too emotionally involved and attached due to being lonely in real life. But it may be better for me to find real friends and/or romantic interests offline than online. But its all a crapshoot. You could still find more bad people offline and yet amazing people online.

    You can never be too careful on the internet. I am glad you only knew him for a month before you exposed him for the faker he is, rather than getting longer and deeper into the relationship and only getting hurt more when it dissolved like it did.
  7. aimlessdrifter

    aimlessdrifter Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you've been hurt. Thanks for reading my post and your reply, much appreciated.
  8. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    I know, I know.. but they're all I've got :cry:
  9. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    I starred this thread in my favorites, because I personally struggle with this same concept with someone who I hold dear online. I would not say they are not genuine, it's been years now that I have spoken to this person, but again tailoring my expectations are difficult at best. I always find myself imagining more than I can reasonably get with this person. Sometimes I am in a place where I can appreciate this person in all their glory, at a sort of distance, in the moment...

    But other times I find myself wanting more of a future, expecting a future with this person.