I've just found a note written by my daughter last year when I went missing.. Mum I loved you so much, I wish that you had known that. Those special memories of you will always make me smile. If only I could have you back for just a little while so we could sit and talk just like we used to. I loved you and always will. The fact that you're no longer here will always cause me pain but I'm glad you're no longer in pain. You will be forever in my heart. Until we meet again. I'm broken. Sitting in the garden crying. I've caused my children so much pain. I tell them every day how much I love them but I'm not sure they'll ever believe that now. How could I do that to them? What kind of a mother can be so selfish? God, I hate myself for what I've put them through.