A letter to the wife of my abuser.

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by DelusionalDECADENCE, Aug 21, 2009.

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  1. She didn't believe me, my own Nan, I wish she could read this.

    I’m not addressing you as Nan, you lost that title when you threw away our relationship, the night you called the police claiming a serious ‘accusation’ had been made against your darling husband. I started this letter feeling very upset and missing you, I really do miss you and it is more than sad that we will never talk again, you meant so much to me, but now I’m beginning to realise I’m absolutely furious! In fact, I don’t even care that we will never see each other, I’m glad I never have to see your deluded self and face the reality that you are in fact a poor excuse for a mother and a grandmother.

    I can only hope that one day you will come to your senses and see what a monster you are married to. Perhaps you will put two and two together and it will hit you that what my parents told you that night, about how that man abused me, destroyed me; is true. How can you not see? I know that when my Dad found out that I had been cutting myself he came to you. It broke my parent’s hearts when I hurt myself and the only reason I did it was to distract myself from the pain of what he did to me.

    It makes me sick that you could so easily cut so many people out of your life for one man that means nothing to you, don’t pretend you love him; the only thing you love is the fact that with him you aren’t alone. You need to realise that you will one day end up more alone because of the way you have treated your own son and grandchild.

    You have made out that YOU are the victim in all of this, and everybody seems to be forgetting the actual victim in this situation, me. I know I can say that without being selfish because now I am finally coming to terms with the fact that what he did was not my fault and I was a victim. I can’t blame myself anymore and it will take a lifetime to heal the emotional scar he left in me, and the physical scars will never fade and they are a permanent reminder of him. You will never know the agony I faced, the thoughts that taunted me every night as I lay awake desperately trying to forget the living nightmare I suffered.

    I can only hope that your scumbag husband has to live through the torture I put myself through. I hope he lies awake at night battling with a guilt that suffocates him. I hope he can’t bear to look in a mirror and see what an evil man he is. I hope images of my scars flood his thoughts and he despises himself, just as I did, for ever hurting his own family.

    I’m praying that you will see all of this sooner rather than later, and get HIM out of your life before you or somebody else gets damaged like me.

    Signed, your granddaughter Cassie, stronger without him.

    Will I ever gain the courage to send this?
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF. Hope you can find some solace here.

    If you have a therapist maybe you could discuss it with them first. In my opinion I see no reason not to send it. Maybe just writing it was of some small benefit to you.

    Either way, please know that you have friends here.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Welcome to SF. I hope eventually you can find the strength to send that letter, and I'm sorry she could be so cold as to turn her back on you and your family.
  4. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Hi Cassie,
    That was a very powerful letter and I hope you do find the strength to send it also. I'm so sorry for what you've been through but I am so glad you realise it wasn't your fault - so many blame themselves when they shouldn't.
  5. ShadedSoul

    ShadedSoul Well-Known Member

    Hi Cassie

    Welcome to SF.

    I just wanted to say that was an extremely powerful letter. I'm so sorry your Grandfather did this to you it is unfair and I do understand how you would be feeling because I was put in a similar situation by my own Grandfather except unlike you I've never had the courage to speak to anyone about what happend.

    I am proud of you for speaking out against the monster, I am just so sorry for the way you have been treated by your Grandmother.

    If you need any help or advice feel free to PM me anytime hun.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    if it brings you peace then send the letter I hope in just writing it out it has brought you mind to some peace as well. I thing talking with a therapist would be very helpful to you to help sort out all your pain and emotions.
    A therapist or sexual assault councillor please get help for yourself. You are very strong and i hope you use this strength to move forward in your healing.
    please keep posting as supportive people here to listen and help.
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