I'm getting tired of always doing this, posting here and elsewhere on SF about poor old me. Its getting old, I'm sick of this pity party. I don't know what happened this afternoon but my mood has tumbled. Its like I'm okay for a day or two or half a day or something and then all hell breaks loose again. Am tired of these feelings of I don't know what. I don't know what they are. Sadness I suppose. Tired, soooo tired. And the thoughts, those thoughts sneak back in. Feel like I'm missing something, I just don't know what that something is. I don't want tonight to get worse, thats what I'm afraid of. I won't do anything permanent as I need to be here right now. But what I'll do, I don't know. Wishful thinking again that I just wasn't here at all. I don't like these empty feelings, the anger that creeps in, the lonliness that is ever present. I know this is overkill, I'm sorry folks. Its stupid and I feel stupid posting. Just looking for something today, reassurance or a kick in the behind maybe. thanks.