Never thought i'd feel like this on the lead up. I had planned a date to leave this life, this date is coming closer but, and i've never been like this, i'm actually a little scared. the previous attempts i had never felt like this, i just went ahead and did them. but they weren't planned out at all, more as a result of a trigger. more of a hastened effort. this time i've planned and ordered materials. now that i have almost everything and time is getting shorter, i'm starting to get scared. i'm still convinced i should do this. i'm even now looking at my feet, my legs, my body. and i feel 'out' of it already. feel as if i'm leaving a body behind, as if its not mine. dont want that to sound too freaky. is this normal? i felt in control of all of this but i didnt expect this. btw i know my first thread started off as a promise to a friend, but to be honest ppl here seem to know what they're talking about. this is why i'm posting this one.