so, i took a little trip the pharmacy today and handed over my stash of pills, my "just in case" pills, my "way out if i need 'em" pills. just stuffed 'em all in a bag and said to the pharmacist "i was cleaning out the medicine cabinet and i don't need these anymore, can you dispose of them?" it took alot of hard work to get to this point and a big part of that work happened here on this site. i wouldn't say i'm 100% better, but i think this is an important milestone and i wanted to celebrate it with you. six months ago i was recovering from a suicide attempt and was in the final stages of planning for my next attempt. i thought i was alone, a loser, and plagued with self-hatred. i thought i was doing the world a favour by leaving. i have never been so glad to be so wrong. in fact, my new mantra is "could i be wrong about this..." and it works well for me. thank you all for being such an important part of my recovery.