To those who remember me, here a little update. A few months ago I was in a position where I had nothing to loose, and nothing to gain, I did what I thought was right. After what happened, I'm not sure what drove me to actually seek help, or how I made it to the hospital without a scratch. I OD'd, after taking what I took so much of, I felt everything, slowly and then speed up, then got slower, and got real slow, I remember throwing up a few times, I remember almost everything to be honest.. I was baker acted for about a week or so, horrible, the hospital I live near is really the worst one in the state, nothing mattered to them, only money, and using the patients time for money. Anyway, I got out and thought I would have a fresh start, I ended up moving to MS with my girlfriend, half of why I did what I did. I'm not going to go into detail, but I ended up moving back to my trailer, (you know theres something wrong when you no longer think of your previous home no longer is seen as a home, but a place to sleep, shower, and sometimes eat). Anyway, the doctors suck, gave me meds that are no longer working, gave me a different dose, different med completely, expected it to work fine, not to mention they only gave me enough for one month, I wasnt able to even refill my prescription, that says alot.. Any way, I'm starting to fall back into being my old self, alone, thinking the same way, no sleep (I think after OD'ing, the sleep meds no longer are working for me, because they havent helped me go to sleep at all).. Well, I would say its good to be back, but its not, I tried to block the url, email, everything from reminding me about this site, but for awhile, Ive been thinking alot about alot.