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A lonely and worthless existence

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jsmith, Feb 18, 2008.

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  1. jsmith

    jsmith New Member

    For as long as I can remember I've wanted a family. I never had much of one growing up and the problems I faced from situations involving my family left alot of emotional scarring. In my teens I spent several years basically alone, speaking to few people and socializing little. I decided to take control of my life though and make my life something worthwhile. I finished school, got into college, and began socializing again. I made a new family of close knit friends. My friends slowly became friends with each other. Over the years I developed a deep trust for these people, for my new family.

    Last October, however, many of them particiated in an unspeakable act that tore me apart. Many of them don't even care that they've destroyed me in this way. I've made it known to them... They've outright said that they could care less. I've cut off contact with them... This was my family though... these were the people I loved... and it's nothing now... absolutely nothing... I can't find why it all happened to me... And the pain of losing not one, not two, but the majority of the members of your family is unbearable. I feel so alone... so worthless... and quite unloved. I'm on anti depressants and they work to an extent... but these emotions are so intense that they seem more powerful than the drug itself. I don't want to numb myself out, but I don't know how I can forgive and/or forget and move on. I'm completely and utterly lost. I'm in desperate need of help.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry for what happened last year. It's hard to know why people can act in way that seems so cruel.

    Other than the anti-depressants are you getting any other support? It might be a counsellor could help you with some of the lingering feelings that this betrayal has caused.

  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    PS You are not alone anymore. You found us, didn't you?


  4. goliath

    goliath Active Member

    Loneliness is a pain in the ass. I know this feeling, too
  5. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    so just as you're starting to get a bit more confident, something blows up in your face. I had this with a girl last year, and although that situation isn't a fraction as bad as yours by the sounds of things, the point I'm trying to make is that when you start to take steps in a particular area, someone or some people might let you down. In your case big time.
    But you mustn't let those people define your life. It could be that you still had a lot of negative thoughts below the surface which meant that you attracted the wrong people into your life, even though you had no intention of doing. I don't really know the ins and outs and so it's difficult to guess what you are best off doing, but stick around here for a bit and get some support, ok the internet isn't the same as meeting peeps in real life but it can be very helpful.
    Hang in there and don't give up!
  6. kmi_x3

    kmi_x3 Member

    thats right
    and we know how do u feel^^
  7. Sentient-Blizzard

    Sentient-Blizzard Well-Known Member

    especially me!!!
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