For as long as I can remember I've wanted a family. I never had much of one growing up and the problems I faced from situations involving my family left alot of emotional scarring. In my teens I spent several years basically alone, speaking to few people and socializing little. I decided to take control of my life though and make my life something worthwhile. I finished school, got into college, and began socializing again. I made a new family of close knit friends. My friends slowly became friends with each other. Over the years I developed a deep trust for these people, for my new family. Last October, however, many of them particiated in an unspeakable act that tore me apart. Many of them don't even care that they've destroyed me in this way. I've made it known to them... They've outright said that they could care less. I've cut off contact with them... This was my family though... these were the people I loved... and it's nothing now... absolutely nothing... I can't find why it all happened to me... And the pain of losing not one, not two, but the majority of the members of your family is unbearable. I feel so alone... so worthless... and quite unloved. I'm on anti depressants and they work to an extent... but these emotions are so intense that they seem more powerful than the drug itself. I don't want to numb myself out, but I don't know how I can forgive and/or forget and move on. I'm completely and utterly lost. I'm in desperate need of help.