It has been so hard for me over the last year. I have been strong for so long and just feel like its never going to change. I have tried to think positive and enjoy my life again. I thought of suicide last summer and I even told my "friends" about it at the time. And all they did was make me feel guiltily about feeling this way and then basically just cut me out of their lives. They also would analyze me and tell me what was wrong with me, which caused me to have a low self esteem. I thought since I was starting college that my life would get better. And it hasn't, I have hardly made any new friends and usually spend most of time alone. Things were looking up a couple of weeks ago- I met this guy and he made me so happy. I met him online and we talked for a couple of weeks before we met and things were going awesome. But, we finally met Thursday and I thought things went well, but I just don't feel like he doesn't like me anymore- he hasn't responded to any of my messages. It was hard for me to accept that I was gay and that if it was even ok to be gay. But, all I feel right now is that I am alone.