A long road....

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ben1993, Mar 16, 2013.

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  1. ben1993

    ben1993 Member

    It has been so hard for me over the last year. I have been strong for so long and just feel like its never going to change. I have tried to think positive and enjoy my life again. I thought of suicide last summer and I even told my "friends" about it at the time. And all they did was make me feel guiltily about feeling this way and then basically just cut me out of their lives. They also would analyze me and tell me what was wrong with me, which caused me to have a low self esteem. I thought since I was starting college that my life would get better. And it hasn't, I have hardly made any new friends and usually spend most of time alone. Things were looking up a couple of weeks ago- I met this guy and he made me so happy. I met him online and we talked for a couple of weeks before we met and things were going awesome. But, we finally met Thursday and I thought things went well, but I just don't feel like he doesn't like me anymore- he hasn't responded to any of my messages. It was hard for me to accept that I was gay and that if it was even ok to be gay. But, all I feel right now is that I am alone.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2013
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi Ben
    I am glad you are here. There is a woefully high occurance of suicidal feelings amonst the gay community. Because society is so horrible about understanding that one way of being is no better or worse than the other. But in fact this is what is true. however you are is how you are supposed to be. And this is right and good.

    I think this is an awesome place to come. I hope you will post here often and make this a community you can turn to. I also know of another place you can go to online. its called the trevor project. Its for young like yourself who are GBL or T and who are having a hard time. They have a helpline you can call. And there are even appointments available for online chats with people who help. There may be more stuff available there now. I have not checked it out in about 6 months. I found it when i was doing a google search to help someone. I suggested that he go there. He had great things to say about the help he got there. I know that a lot of well known people endorse the website. eg Daniel Radcliffe. you might want to check it out. http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

    Also I wonder if there is a counsellor at your college you may want to talk to. Being part of the GBLT community can be something people would not trade for the world. But you have to survive the rocky waters and find your community. Right? So please keep coming here. Its a good community. And hopefully you will check out the trevor project as well,. Sending huge amoungs of safe hugs for you if thats okay.
     
  3. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Hi Ben, you'll find caring support here. Dating is a bummer. We're setting ourselves up to fail so often. So desperate to find that 'special person' we're almost certain to fail. And then comes the despair. Best wishes and follow through on Flower's suggestions.
     
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am glad you took a few minutes to share your story - though all individuals many here have similar issues. Bt reaching out here not only will you gain support but also may learn to communicate more effectively in your real life and to identify the people more willing and able to offer you support there.
    I am sure it has been difficult dealing with your feelings over reaching out to or dating a man if it is new to you but the result has less to do with gender and more to do with just the way dating in college is most likely. Some people are looking for a connection and some just do not see it as much more than a casual socializing opportunity and in fact move away from any sort of mutual bonding. Not you, not gay, just the way many people are. I would try (though difficult at the moment maybe) not to be put off by the one time less than ideal outcome and keep trying to meet people if that will add something to your life...

    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Ben sorry that connection did not work out but there will be other times hun so don't give up. Here you will not feel so alone ok You keep talking or posting and you will find people here do understand hun and will not judge you hugs
     
  6. ben1993

    ben1993 Member

    I just wanted to say thank you for the people that read my post and shared some good advice. I have read all of it, and I am putting it into my life. I know there will be some ups and downs in the upcoming days, especially just trying to get over him. They have a GLBT organization at my college and thought about attending a meeting there and see if that helps me out. But, I don't feel like I'm alone and that I just wanted to say thanks for the good advice.
     
  7. fatloser

    fatloser Banned Member

    there's plenty of fish in the sea. If one person doesn't work out, find someone else. It takes time and effort to find someone, don't give up after the first one. And they weren't really your friends if they cut you off for expressing your true feelings about life and how you feel.
     
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