Why me? What did I do? I keep lying to everybody that I'm OK...when in truth I'm not. I'm scared, I'm depressed, I'm alone, and I want to die. :cheer: My health has been going downhill for the past few days...I'm having difficulty breathing and retaining consciousness. I lose feeling of my arms and legs at times, where I completely can't feel them. I have a chronic headache, and horrible insomnia. Hurray pour moi! Now, I tell all this to my dad, ask for help, and what does he do? He throws it all in my face! Thank-you, daddie! "You manipulative bitch!" "You're a loser, you know that? Dishonest." "How the hell do you plan to get through life the way you're behaving now?" "So what the hell do you want from me?!?" "I come home, and I expect everything to be normal at least here. Is it? NO. Why? You." I understand that you're having issues at work. I know that things aren't going well. I know we might be getting an eviction notice shortly. Yes, I realize grandfather is being a jerk. I know what he says hurts you. I understand. Earth to daddie, HE CALLED ME A MURDERER! That's hurts too, you know. All I ask for is a little bit of empathy. You have no idea how trashy I feel. Indeed you don't. You obviously don't, I can judge by the way you reply to me. I know you lost your wife, but she was my goddamn mother. And yes, I was there alone when she died. And yes, she committed suicide. And I should have done something to prevent it. But, I had no way of knowing. If you blame me for that, why the hell can't you just take it up with me in person?! WHY?! Am I that much of a weakling in your eyes? If so, just kill me. I beg you! End my painful existence. It seems to do no good to you anyhow. Kill me, you'll have access to my bank account. Kill me, grandfather will probably apologize to you. Kill me, you won't have to deal with my attitude. Kill me, end my suffering. PLEASE! All I want is death. Cupio mortem. Caelum vocat me. Sed, mors non venit. Cupio caedi et necari. Rogo te, necas me!