this is my first post here. over the next few days I face a huge choice. I am diabetic. I also over the last several years have been miserable and haven't looked after my diabetes. I have assumed I was going to kill myself at some point and havent been to a doctor in several years (I have become a master at getting a prescription out of my medical centre without actually going in) It has come to the point where I am sure I am seriously ill, and will not get another prescription of insulin without seeing a doctor but I cannot face going to the doctor as this will cause a huge upheaval in my life (At the moment I can just about function but I am pretty certain that I have reduced liver/kidney function and going by recorded progression of diabetes, probably going to lose my vision and higher chance of losing a leg sooner rather than later as well as becoming impotent). Basically I will be dead within the next 2 weeks or I go to the doctors and get help. I realise I'm not putting this into words very well but right now although I realise I have so much to live for (I have a brilliant and supportive family), just ending it all now seems like a much better option (I have fucked up my health, career and all but lost all my friends, I am basically a recluse and working a minimum wage job with not much chance of progression). What the fuck do I do?