after all the many years mom, you're stillso far from me, didn't you know how much i cared? was it so hard for you to see? you made sure that i was dressed and fed, the best way that you knew. couldn't you see that all i craved, was a loving word from you? you were always sure that i was clean, with ringlets in my hair, but the only thing for which i yearned, you never seemed to care. i longed for you to hold me close, and understand my fears. to tell me that you loved me, and kiss away my tears. i used to lie in bed at night, and think how it would be, to have you take me in your arms, and rock and cuddle me. how many times i longed to touch, the softness of your hair, to hold you tight and kiss you, and to show you that i care. mom, oh mom, please love me now, and hold me to your heart, and stop the tears that fill my eyes, before they ever start. you never told me i love you it would mean so much to me, just to hear you say the words, i'd be happy as could be. why is it so hard to love me mom, what have i done to you? why can't you see me as your child? is there something that i can do, to make you love me just a bit, and change my life around? please let me know a mothers love, a joy i've never found. others have tried to mother me, and they were not to blame. i loved them just for trying, but it never seemed the same. some day when we meet again, perhaps you'll love me more. maybe you will love me then, as you never have before. that's the time after all these years, that i keep dreaming of. the day when we come face to face, the day you give your love... my grandmother wrote this to her mom on 5/20/1985. r.i.p.