...from this hell that I am living. I can't imagine hell being any worse. Why can an evil person do such psychological harm to someone who was once vibrant, trusting and full of life. People used to say when I smiled my entire face lit up. I never smile anymroe. Only tears. No one to talk to that won't stick me in a psych ward - which, I've been there and it did absolutely no good. No one to give a hug. A pillow to snuggle up to at night. A daughter asking me "why" about everything and I can't explain to her...... Just a moments courage and it could be over. Maybe exchanging one hell for another - but who really cares at this point? The man abused me and drove me crazy on purpose - he robbed my daughter and I of years and robbed me of everything else. So, I get the stength to divore him and he's mind fucking me over the edge while he goes on with his girlfriend and lives his life tellin everyone he is the victim of some crazy woman. I don't think a person is crazy when they just simpy can't live with the consequences of the bad choies they made - even if they didn't have all th efacts when they made them. Living with a shattered heart, being unable to trust anyone, hating what you see in the mirror, being afraid all the time, being alone except for your daughter who you love and are trying to hold it together for while everything buids up inside of you like atime bomb and then to try and talk about it to your own mother who then says - well, if you truly feel that way then just do it so we an all get on with our lives! No shit - she did say that. God, I have paid my debt and then some...I can't do this anymore. This is not character building or makin me stronger - this is killing me slowly. IT HAS GOT TO END - one way or another - t has got to end!