A negative friend

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Hache, Apr 22, 2014.

  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    I realise this is rich coming from someone depressed who posts negatively on a forum. But I'd like to think in real life I am more inward and hidden.

    There is a "friend", I use that term loosely, I don't value them that much, we have nothing in common except the class we are in.

    Anyway every day throughout the day I get constant facebook messages of how shit the course is, how shit the work is, just constant "this is shit", "i hate this", all day long, it is exams and essay period, this is all i've gotten for weeks now. It is destroying my day. Thankfully class is over because throughout the semester going to class had the same effect, a group of people just moaning and disinterested, constantly complaining and freaking out. My entire year on this course has been ruined by the attitude of the people I ended up with.

    However with this friend he obviously wants to meet up etc from time to time and when we do we have nothing in common at all, all there is to talk about therefore is the course, so it ends up being him moaning on about how shit things are, how shit campus is, how shit the course is, how shit this country is, how much he hates everything.

    It is making my personal battle with depression worse, but I don't have any other people, this is my only interaction, it's dragging me down.

    I googled about people like this and it says to be happy you have to avoid negative people and surround yourself with positive ones.

    There's nothing I can really do though, it's message after message throughout the day, all I can do is slow my replies down. But it's going to be like this for a long time and I am sick.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Hache set up some boundaries ok when you are together no more talk about school that is to be left there and when you guys hang out it is to be about fun things
    also lead this person to a councilor at your school so this person can get support from them not you.
  3. soulreaper

    soulreaper Well-Known Member

    well if this is your only friend, I'd hang on to them, just don't text back for a while and try to make new friends.
  4. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    Problem is there is nothing else to talk about. We have nothing in common. He will start a conversation on his interests and start naming things that I have absolute no idea what they are or who they are so I feel even more awkward, bored and small.

    I guess so, but I am not keen on being friends outside of school, I guess it is only for a short while. It used to be a group and so it wasn't so bad, the group is gone now though and so it's just 2 of us a lot of the time.
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    ever thought of asking him what makes him happy? what he's looking forward to? favorite movie, music band, tv series? favorite restaurant, food? maybe say, next time let's meet up at your favorite restaurant? and maybe say, wow this food is great, I can see why you like it etc...
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    sorry I replied and then saw you had replied....well maybe ask him about those people...there's no shame in not knowing the same as he...or talk about food? Or why he's in school?
  7. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    I have no interest movies, actors or tattoos that he talks about. My area is politics and sport which he hates. I like to get drunk, he just likes to take beer slowly and to a point. I want friends who talk to others when we are out like I used to have, it helps bring me out and I am interested in meeting new people because I am single, he isn't.

    It's ok when in a group, when we go out in a group maybe, well we used to, not for many many weeks now, that way I don't have to just spend the entire time with him.

    The way I see it is we are just acquaintances of the time and place we are in. It's not that big a friendship, it's not a friendship of choice, it's one of convenience. At the end of school we will move away and never see each other again.

    A restaurant meal would be a nightmare, having to sit there formally and talk, I need to avoid being alone with him for long periods as I get no joy from it.