a new life???

Am i feeling suicidel : NO what im feeling is way beyond that now. Hopeless, worthless, a pain in many peoples butt, useless...but most of all just very very ...sad. Im sad that i wont ever get to see how the human race can rise above what they are now....sad that i wont ever have anyone to hold me again or even hug me ...sad that i wont ever get to go outside and enjoy a truly awsome gift...nature..but mostly im sad because i love people..mostly.. and love to help others but all i can do is mess em up. Seems thats one thing i have always been really good at!!! Hey who knew??? If i had known what i would do i would have ended this life long long ago but i always had some kind or form of hope. Sure i had some good times but i had to really work at em. ALWAYS had to work at em. Im not going to work at em anymore... ever!!! One reason is im really more screwed up than i thought i was or am . I never ever meant anyone any harm or hurt. Sorry if you happened to be in my sights or that you seemed to tug on my heart strings!!! I thought that islolating myself from people would keep me from being abused or hurt again. LIke all things we humans are very good at improvising!! So i came here and to some other sites. It is all the same though... being here around people here in cyber world.. or being around people in the real world same same. Im sorry that for some reason i thought it really was different!!
MY bad lol . (and i hate that damed phrase. So ....now what?? Dont really matter i might drop in to chat for a bit just to see ..or maybe not!! Seems best i think now. To coin a phrase..."chat room" is for light topics! So if i seem to be dramatic or just a "troll"...(which i like by the way) i will keep it light. I wont tell you that in the not to distant future i will never ever be a problem or hurt anyone ever again....ever. So be cool take care and i love ya...


sky

 

Sky...it sounds like you are not seeing that ppl truly do care about you...I know when we feel as you are, it is difficult, but please step back and see that you have been helpful and caring....we all mess up things, but that is correctable...and most ppl are very willing to move on...please stay safe as you are very much wanted here...J

 

I have seen you in the chat room a few times and i like your presence even though you sounded very angry at times.. I have seen you been triggered by another member in the chatroom and i wanted to talk to you but you logged out.. I really wanted to help you and i wished that you can allow me this opportunity to help you.. Take care and :hug:

Private message me or if you see me in chatroom, private chat me.. many :hug: from me..

 

Ive been to chat to, and its a whole differant ballgame there, continue to post, continue to vent, who are we to say you shouldnt feel the way you do.

Now that said, I do hope that you get your anger under check cause Im one that knows for sure it can eat you up and make you a whole differant person than who and what you really are and want to be.

Hugs to you, hope tomorrow treats you better.