Welcome to SF we are all here for you
Please don’t self harm, it will only make things worse. Self harming is not the solution, it won’t bring anything good, it will only make your struggle harder. Could you maybe reach out to people around you? You are not alone anymore, we are all here. Try and post the way you feel, your thoughts as much as you can. Talk to people here, you’ll find them very helpful. Don’t give up on yourself.