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A new outlook on life

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Kirovski22, Jun 10, 2013.

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  1. Kirovski22

    Kirovski22 Active Member

    I have tried to commit suicide a few times in my life and it's wasn't pretty.

    When I took my first overdose I was taken to hospital and had to get checked out. They weren't that sympathetic about it since they probably thought I was wasting their time when they could have been looking at someone who had cut off their hand in a work accident or something.... (wow overdramatic much?!)

    The second and third times were within a couple of days of each other but I didn't go to hospital because I kept it a secret hoping I wouldn't wake up the next day. Unfortunately (at that time) I did wake up. But I had terrible after effects. My stomach swelled up and eating was a real problem because I was in so much pain, I had shooting pains in my chest constantly (doctor said it was anxiety but I know what anxiety pain feels like) and felt constantly like I was going to throw up. I was a right state and it made my mental instability worse because I felt cursed by not dying.

    But one day it was like suddenly a switch flicked on in my head. It's like my eyes were suddenly opened to the harm I was putting myself through. All the cutting and overdoses were destroying me mentally and physically. I had to do something about it. I had to learn to treasure my mind and body, make it my temple, and realised that I didn't die because I wasn't meant to go yet.

    I finally opened up about the cutting and overdoses (I started cutting again after over a year of stopping) and was nearly put in a mental hospital.

    I couldn't let myself lose this battle. It made me realise that my life is precious and I had to look after myself for my own sake to deal with existence.

    I don't regret what I did to myself because if I hadn't I would never have learned from my mistakes or have become the fighter I am today
  2. BornAgain

    BornAgain Well-Known Member

    I am glad you are doing much better, I Will jeep you in my prayers, you have a mission in this world, use that second chance to accomplish it.

    God bless you!
  3. melbourne90

    melbourne90 Member

    It sounds like you are heading along a positive road. Keep fighting every day. I find that being thankful for the small things keeps my overall happiness much higher. There is so much beauty in this world, if you only open yourself up to it.
  4. NottiShark

    NottiShark Member

    Well, that's attitude we all need! Being a true fighter choosing life !
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    This is quite inspirational...I wish you continued success on your journey and hope you will continue to seek support so that you can do so...all the best
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